


The More We Get Together

by anarchycox



Series: This Is My Family [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Get together fic, Kid Fic, Meddling Children, clint and natasha are phil's five year old twins, dad phil, librarian melinda, looking at you tony and nick, meddling children who are actually adults, serious all the fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-21 17:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8254667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Melinda is not a people person. This is why they keep her in the back sorting. It was a very large mistake the day they had her fill in for children's story time. All the children would agree. Well, almost all. Clint and Natasha think she is perfect and better perfect for their Dad. So long as she isn't a robot or secret spy.  Well, maybe even then. Match making children, encouraged by horrible friends.And Phil doesn't mind a bit.





	1. Phase One

**Author's Note:**

> First foray into MCU/Agents of SHIELD. Be kind.

"You are supposed to sing the get together song.” A child said bouncing on the ABC mat. 

Melinda stared at her. “No.”

“What about Old Mcdonald?”

“No.” Melinda held up a book. “We will read The Little Engine that Could and sing the ABC song and then you can play with the toys I put out for fifteen minutes.”

“You didn’t put out the craft section!”

“There will be no glitter glue.” Melinda stared at all the children. “Let us begin.” She held up the book, cursing Simmons for having an emergency and sticking her with the children’s time. She didn’t get along with children. She seemed to scare them, she didn’t know why. But soon she’d be in the back sorting books again. She read the book with zero inflection and heart. She found the story idiotic. A couple of the mothers in the back frowned and a few children inched back on the mat.

But two came closer. She finished reading and they sang the song and she shooed them over to the toys and set her watch for exactly 15 minutes. Melinda looked down and there were those two kids. “May I help you?”

“Are you a robot?” The boy asked. “Where do you plug in? Is it your toe, I bet it is. You take your toe cover off and boom there is a long cord and that is how you charge. Did you pass the Turing test? Uncle Tony told me about that.” He blinked and the little girl punched him.

“She’s not a robot. She’s a spy, undercover, or hiding from the mafia. Oh or our government. She can kill a man with a paperclip.” The little girl looked up and saluted. “Your secret is safe with us ma’am.” The boy quickly added a salute too.

“You are very strange little children.” Melinda tried to stare them down and they held the salute. She sighed. “At ease. And I am not a robot, nor a spy. I am a librarian.”

She didn’t laugh when both children stood at ease in perfect military fashion. “Do you know books that aren’t about kittens or teaching great moral lessons? We know that we can get up the hill, we would push each other, it is fine.” 

“Yeah. Tashie keeps being given these princess books by people. Dad says they don’t know what to give girls as strong as Tashie so they do that. Girls don’t have to read princess books right?”

“And Clint doesn’t like football. All father’s co-workers keep giving him a football.” Melinda did not crack a smile at Tashie’s scowl. 

Melinda turned and left without another word. She walked through a few of the stacks and gathered a pile. She returned to the reading room and kicked everyone out but paused beside the two who had been brave. “Here.” She gave them the pile of books.

“This says princess on the front.” Tashie looked ready to mutiny.

“Trust me.” Melinda broke a little to wink, she knew the girl would like The Paperbag Princess. “And here a non-football book for you Clint.” She handed over a book. “Also this book is much too old and scary for either of you. It must have fallen into my hands by accident.” She dangled A Bad Beginning from her fingertips and watched as Clint grabbed. “You absolutely shouldn’t have your mother read that to you. It will for sure scare you far too much to sleep.” Melinda realized they were the last two. “Where is your mother?”

“On our mantel. She’s dead.” Clint said, poking at the book. “This is a big kid book.” He said in awe. “You gave us a big kid book.”

“Clint, Dad said we have to be nicer about Mama, it confuses people.” Tashie looked at Melinda and made her eyes swim. “We miss her very much.”

“We were one! We don’t remember her.” Clint pouted. “And Skye won’t read this to us, she thinks we’re too grown up already.”

“Dad will, when he’s home.” Tashie looked at Melinda. “We like you. Will you do story time again?”

“No.”

“But the other girl is too perky. No,” Tashie said calmly. “You’ll do story time for us.” 

“Oh yes, that’d be awesome!” Clint agreed. He saw Skye. “We have to go. Bye Scary Library Lady!”

“Melinda.” Melinda said. “Not Scary Library Lady.”

“Bye Scary Melinda.” Both kids shouted.

Melinda went back to her corner to sort books, doubting she’d see the kids again.

******************************

“How’d you get back here?” Melinda asked staring at the two sets of eyes peering over her desk.

“Security is designed for big people, not little ones.” Tashie explained.

“I cried and they went to search for Skye and we sneaked in.” Clint added. “It’s story time.”

“And Simmons has returned.” Melinda moved a pile of books.

“She has a cat sweater.” Tashie glared. 

“We told you Scary Melinda, you do our stories now.” Clint explained like she was the 5 year old and not him.

“I’m busy.”

“I saw the schedule you should be doing lunch.” 

“You can read that well Tashie?” Melinda raised a brow.

“She’s awesome with words.” Clint boasted. “She can read and speak 3 languages. English, French, and Russian.”

“I’m not so good with Russian.” Tashie said. “And Clint’s super good with math and his hands. He knows up to the 3 times tables.”

“Dad’s been reading us some of the big kid book. It is good.” Clint said. “I like that the kids are smart. Not magic, or chosen ones, or superheroes. Just smart.”

“Well then, did you know there was once a woman called Mulan?” Melinda asked.

“Skye had us watch the movie.” Tashie said.

“Yes, but do you want to know the not Disney version?” Melinda asked.

Both kids looked at her eyes wide and nodded. And Melinda kept sorting while telling them the story.

For a month the kids broke into her office and she told them a story. And then one Saturday they didn’t appear. She didn’t miss them. Melinda stretched from her desk and took a walk around the library. She moved towards the back to the kids section where Simmons was singing songs with very happy children. 

She smiled as she saw Tashie and Clint trying to escape the very firm grip of a man in a suit. Each time one managed to get a few inches away the man’s hand snapped out and corralled them gently. He was rather unassuming, like any older father. But he had to be something worth investigating to have such interesting children. Melinda moved a little closer.

“Scary Melinda.” Clint cried and he managed to step away quick enough and run before the man could catch him. Melinda was shocked and almost knocked to her knees when Clint ran full tilt and hugged her. “Hi!”

“Hello Clint, Tashie.” She said as Tashie came over a little slower, dragging her father.

“Hello Melinda. This is our father Phil. Explain to him that you are our story time person.”

“Natasha. You can’t just kidnap and keep people.” Phil sighed.

“Why not? It’s how we got Skye.” Tashie honestly looked confused. “And the children’s librarian is nice.” Tashie made is sound like the greatest insult. “Melinda tells us about pirate queens.”

“And archers. I like the stories about Robin Hood.” Clint said still hugging her. “Tell Daddy you are ours.”

Melinda looked him straight in the eye. “I am theirs.” 

Clint and Natasha gasped, they didn’t think she would actually agree. They smiled and bounced. “Daddy, we need to take her for ice cream.” Tashie said. “We owe her for breaking her security code.”

Phil opened his mouth and paused. “No. No I don’t want to know but I’ll be talking with Uncle Tony again.”

“No, this Uncle Nick taught us.” Clint replied. “Oops.”

Phil closed his eyes. “We don’t hack until we are 10, we don’t kidnap and claim librarians as our own property, and we don’t keep library books just because we appreciate them better than another person would.”

Melinda looked at the kids.

“We tried to keep the Bad Beginning.”

“How about you return it and I get you book 2. Which your father absolutely really shouldn’t read you. It is far worse.” Melinda smiled at the glee on their faces.

Phil stared at her and swallowed. He wouldn’t mention to her that the kids had decided they were keeping her as more than their librarian. She really didn’t know they had decided she was their new mom. “Could I buy you coffee in thanks and apology for them?”

“You do not apologize for creativity and ingenuity in your children.” Her voice was hard.

“Yes ma’am. Still coffee?” 

Melinda nodded. “It is my break. Let’s all go.” She ignored it when Clint said “Yes phase one is a success.” She’d find out what that meant soon enough.


	2. Phase Two

“Excuse me?” Melinda stared at the director of the library system for the city. 

The man paled a little, the archivist was terrifying. “It is time for the children’s book fair and I received a note.” He held out the letter to her.

She snatched it out of his hands. It was signed by numerous people saying that while they understood that the fair was important and that they needed all hands on deck that perhaps Melinda’s presence was a little off putting and it was best that she not partake in the event. That several parents would be happy to volunteer to fill in the gap.

“Grant Ward and his family are large donors, and well you don’t like people anyways.” He smiled. “We will of course pay you time and a half for your day and think, you’ll basically have the library to yourself.”

“Of course sir.” Melinda’s jaw tightened. She hadn’t been looking forward to seeing Clint and Tashie get their faces painted.

Or seeing their father again. It was fine. The quiet was good.

************************

“Dad, do you think Scary Melinda will like it?” Tashie asked from her booster seat. She was clutching a picture. And wearing all black, like her hero.

Clint was holding a little popsicle art project and dressed in a matching Captain America t-shirt to his dad. “She’ll like this too right?” He had painted it purple. Really bright purple.

“I think she’ll like both your gifts.” Phil promised. He pulled into the field beside the library with all the other cars. The children’s book fair looked like a lot of fun and the twins had been excited for weeks. He helped them out of the car and took the art projects in his hands as they took off running. He tried to keep an eye on them as they went through the small crowd looking for Melinda. He followed them as they reached the other end of the parking lot.

All the joy was gone from their faces.

Clint’s chin wobbled. “No Scary Melinda, Daddy.” Tashie took his hand and scowled.

Phil bent down. “I’m sure she just went to the bathroom, or had to get more face paint. While we wait do you want to play one of the games?”

Both kids shook their heads and just kept scanning the crowd for Melinda. 30 minutes later she still wasn’t there and Phil was getting angrier as his babies got sadder.

“Want to go?” He asked them quietly and they nodded and he pretended he didn’t see Tashie wipe away a tear. “Okay.” He held their gifts gently and took Clint’s hand and made sure Tashie held his other. He was going to be making a very angry call in the morning.

They started to walk along the outside of the building and Phil noticed Melinda in the window, scanning the crowds and looking both pissed and sad. Time to investigate.

“I need to go to the bathroom, kids and you should too before the drive home. Let’s go into the library.” Phil suggested. They all walked in and there was no one in there. The door made the beep noise which was usually unnoticed because of the people at the front desk.

“Bathroom’s over there Daddy.” Tashie pointed out.

“Is it?” Phil asked. “Are you sure it isn’t here?” He walked towards the offices and knocked on the door.

“Daddy, that’s the offices.” Clint said. “Not potty.”

“Huh.” Phil shrugged and knocked again. Melinda opened the door.

“Do you need to check materials out?” She asked.

“No.” Phil looked down, and realized the kids were hiding behind him. “Clint, Tashie? Don’t you want to give Melinda your gifts?” 

Clint shook his head and pushed his face into Phil’s thigh.

Tashie stayed behind her Dad but poked her head out. “You promised to be at the fair.” 

Melinda crouched down. “I know, but my boss needed me to stay inside to work.”

“Why?”

“Because sometimes that’s just the way it is.”

“Didn’t you say you had promised?” Clint asked. “Because you promised.”

“I know. I tried to keep an eye out for you.” Melinda answered.

“They were very disappointed not to see you.” Phil’s voice held quiet censure.

“If it had been my choice, I would have been working the book sale table, like I promised.” Melinda looked at them. “I am sorry.” She smiled a little at Tashie. “You look very grown up today.”

“I dressed like you.” Tashie whispered and it was her turn to bury her face in her father’s leg.

“We made you stuff.” Clint said. “Daddy give her the stuff.”

Phil handed the items to Melinda who took them very carefully. She looked at the picture that seemed to be…”Is this you and me killing bad guys?” She asked.

Tashie pointed. “You have a paperclip. Because you are a secret spy.”

“I told you Tashie, I am a librarian.”

“Daddy is a spy.” Clint said.

Melinda looked at him and Phil blushed a little. “I work for an international security firm. It’s mostly paperwork.”

“Sure.” Melinda said. “This is a very lovely purple house Clint.”

“The door opens.” Clint said and Melinda swung the door obligingly.

“I think these will look quite nice on my desk.” Melinda put them down carefully, the only decoration in her space.

“Can you come play with us now Scary Melinda?” Clint and Tashie left the comfort of their dad and approached her. “We could all get our faces painted.”

“I…” Melinda paused. She wanted to go.

“I call Captain America’s shield.” Phil said.

“You always call Cap.” Tashie said. “I want a spider.”

“I want an arrow.” Clint added. “What about you?”

“How about a flower?” Melinda asked. She held out her hand. Tashie grabbed hold and Clint grabbed Melinda’s leg.

“What about your work?” Phil asked.

“Screw it.” Melinda replied. “Not like anyone is checking a book out today.”

“Daddy,” Tashie smiled sweetly. “You should take her other hand, just so she doesn’t get lost in the crowd.”

“I think it would be rather hard to lose her Tashie.”

“Safety first Dad.” Clint said. “You say that is the first part of securing a situation.”

“Paper pusher my ass.” Melinda muttered looking at Phil. He gave her a bland smile.

“Well, sometimes paper pushes back.” Phil held out his hand and Melinda stared at it for a moment before taking it.

“Tashie when do we lock them in a closet like Uncle Tony said to, so that they kiss?” Clint whispered. It the empty library it was a shout.

“Uncle Nick says that’s phase three.” Tashie hissed back. “First we have to bring them together more all family like.”

“Oh.” Clint blinked up at his dad and Melinda. “Us all getting face painted together is family like right?”

Phil was turning red.

“It does seem family like, yes Clint.” Melinda agreed.

“Cool. Scary Melinda, does the library has closets that lock from the outside?” Clint smiled.

Phil muttered about killing his friends.

“Well no.” Melinda looked at Phil. “But I imagine if two people were to find themselves in the broom closet that is just around the corner from the children’s section, two strong and determined people could move the bean bag chairs to block the door so no one could leave.”

Phil stumbled over his feet a little bit.

Melinda threw him a wink and laughed when he stumbled a little bit more.


	3. Interlude 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plans have to be made for phase 3

"Okay." Phil held a Starkpad to Tony. "Fingerprint and signature here."

Tony did it automatically. "What's that for?"

"It is the rules you just agreed to for babysitting my children. You owe me damages, plus 20% if anything happens and promise to not break any state, federal, or international laws while here."

"One time I show your daughter how to hack C.I.A. files and you don't let me live it down." Tony grumbled.

"She was three and compromised 2 missions by singing Yo Gabba Gabba songs to men in position." Phil looked at him. "It took me a month to clean up that mess."

Tony smiled. "Good times."

"I'll make sure he behaves." Pepper promise. She was holding her 'magic bag'.

"And you no spoiling them." Phil pointed at her.

She just smiled. "Of course not." Pepper tilted her head and Phil kissed her cheek.

"Very well. Come in." Phil opened the door.

"Your king has arrived!" Tony shouted and there was the stomp of little feet.

"Uncle Tony!" Tashie yelled and she jumped off the back of the couch and launched herself at him. He caught her easily, but was taken town by the Clint sized bullet that rammed his knees. As all three went down, Tony made sure the kids weren't at all hurt.

Pepper just stepped out of the way.

"Hi Auntie Pep Pep." Clint said from where he was sitting on Tony and pummeling. "I like your shoes."

"Purple." She smiled and bent down to kiss his head. She just brushed a hand over Tashie's hair knowing the girl only liked kisses at bed time. "You look good in all black Natasha."

"Thanks." Tashie poked at Tony until he couldn't stop the giggle.

"She only wears black now. To match Scary Melinda." Clint said easily. He eyed Pepper's bag, he knew there was a surprise or two in there.

Tony hopped up and smirked at Phil. "Oh really?"

"Shut up." Phil couldn't stop the flush though. "Nick is expecting me. Thanks you two for babysitting. Skye had an exam."

"We're happy to look after them." Pepper said. "Go, you know how Nick gets."

Phil nodded and kissed his children. "Behave."

"We're good!" Clint scowled.

"Oh I know you are, I was talking to your Uncle Tony." Phil grinned as Tony faked being wounded. He left them all be.

Pepper and Tony looked at each other. "Right. Pizza and popcorn and you can have two treats from Aunt Pep Pep's magic bag." Tony clapped his hands. "Where's your dad hidden the good chocolate?"

Tashie took Uncle Tony to the kitchen trusting Clint to pick them out awesome stuff from the bag.

*************************

"No, I don't care if she said that closet was a good one," Tony said to Tashie. "Look at the foot traffic, the kids section is just too busy, especially on days your father takes you." Tony pulled up some numbers on his pad. "See look, times your father takes you to the library corresponded to general foot traffic at the library. Someone would notice you locking them in there."

"But she said that's a closet we could easily block in." Tashie protested. "We are in that area, it is logical."

Clint and Pepper watched them argue, blueprints for the library in front of them. "Planning is boring." Clint said to Pepper. "I like action."

"I know you do sweetie. But they like arguing." Pepper answered. "Your Uncle Tony respects Natasha's logic more than his board of directors." Pepper reached into her bag. "I have sparkle purple nail polish, want me to paint your nails?"

"Yes please." Clint held his hands perfectly still while Pepper painted them. "Auntie Pep Pep?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"We're doing the good thing, trying to make Daddy kiss Scary Melinda right?"

Tashie and Tony stopped talking and looked at the other two a little confused. Neither of them was the best with the line on right and wrong. That's why they counted on Clint and Pepper.

"Well your dad does need to get -" Tony bit his tongue at the glare Pepper gave him and didn't say the word laid. "some ice cream with a nice lady."

Pepper put the cap on the nail polish. "What do you think sweetie?"

"He looks sad sometimes, when he thinks we've fallen asleep and he puts the book down." Clint answered. He saw everything. "It is just this look, to his side, like he wished someone was there."

Tony swallowed. "Your mama and he used to sit beside each other in your nursery and read to both of you."

"He needs someone next to him." Tashie said. "He's Christopher Robin, he needs his Pooh bear."

Clint nodded. "He smiles his happy smile when he looks at Melinda and she's not looking." He thought about it. "She looks less scary when he's around."

"She smiles at us." Tashie added. "I think the government trained her not to smile." She added seriously. No one could convince her Melinda wasn't a spy. Tashie looked at Pepper. "I think she would fit with all of us. I know we are weird but -"

Tony pulled Tashie into a hard hug, "We aren't weird little spider, we are awesome. Most people just don't understand how all of us can contain that much cool."

"She thinks we're cool, and she still has the stuff we made her on her desk." Clint said. 

"Tell you what, why don't you let me and Auntie Pep Pep check her out and will confirm your suspicions that she is right for the family and if she is, we'll go ahead with plans for phase three. In the closet on the second floor."

Tashie punched Tony. "No, we stick with the original plan!" They went back to yelling.

"Want to watch Robin Hood?" Pepper asked Clint.

"Can I paint your nails?" Clint asked.

Pepper nodded and handed him the bottle, happy to let him ruin her hundred dollar manicure.

Phil came home a couple hours later, relieved that all the walls of his house were standing. He was quiet as he went in, and smiled when he saw Tony passed out on the couch, Tashie asleep and draped over his chest, toes on his face. Clint was snuggled into Pepper, drooling on her shirt. Pepper smiled at him, reading quietly on her tablet.

"They wore him out." Pepper whispered. "Want me to help you take them up to bed?" 

Phil nodded and went to get Tashie off of Tony. The second he got near, Tony's eyes snapped open and his hands curled protectively around the girl. And that is why he might give his friend shit, but he had always trusted Tony with his kids. He pulled Tashie off of Tony and carried her upstairs, Pepper following with Clint. 

The kids were put down and he offered his friends the guest room.

"Early meetings tomorrow." Pepper said as she gently turned him down.

"We do?"

"I do, if you want your company to keep making money." Pepper rolled her eyes.

"I do, I like money." Tony grinned. They left promising brunch on the weekend.

Phil made himself a snack and put some leftovers aside for Skye, she'd be home soon and starving.

He sighed when he went for the secret chocolate stash and found it missing.

******************************

Melinda was carrying her coffee to her desk and stopped at the sight of a man sitting there, playing on his phone.

"This is a small desk. How do you actually work at it?" He had his feet up. "I could get you a better desk. Yup, ordering you a better desk." He picked up his phone and pushed a few buttons. "New desk will be here on Thursday."

Melinda put her coffee cup down. "Sir, this area is for staff only, I would ask you to leave."

"Pretty comfy chair actually though, won't change that." He bounced in it. "Do you know what brand? I want this. Maybe I'll just buy the company."

"Go away sir."

"Tony." He smiled. "Stark."

"Go away Tony Stark." Melinda came around her desk.

"No awe?" He pouted. "No wow, the Tony Stark? Not even asking me for a donation?"

"Right now you just look like a man in an overly fussy suit who is trespassing. I'm not impressed."

Tony smiled, he might like her. "Cute art, paint job is a little messy though." He reached out to touch the little purple house. 

Melinda smacked his hand hard and put her fingers against his throat. "You don't touch that."

"Well how the hell are we supposed to convince Tashie you aren't a spy when you do stuff like that?" 

Melinda let go. "You are Uncle Tony?"

"I am." Tony tried his most charming smile.

"Stop that, you look like a used car salesman." She didn't move her hand off his throat.

"Jesus, when the kids bring someone into the family fold, they always bring the right people." Tony's grin was his real one. "Could you not kill me though? That would probably look bad on your performance review that is coming up."

Melinda let go. "Do I want to know how you know about that?"

"The kids like you, you've been rather thoroughly researched. I made those three speeding tickets go away if that helps any."

"Get out of my chair Mister Stark." Melinda stepped back to give him space.

"Phil's a good guy you know." Tony said standing up.

"He seems so." Melinda's face gave nothing away.

"I'll donate 10k to the library if you go on a proper date with him."

"Goodbye Mister Stark." Melinda sat down and carefully straightened Clint's house and the frame she had bought for Tashie's drawing.

Tony nodded. "See you around Scary Melinda."

He left the library and got into his car. "Call Nick, JARVIS." Tony drove away.

"What is it Stark?" Nick said. "I'm in the middle of chewing out some people."

"She's perfect." Tony said. "She'll fit in well."

"Good, implement Phase Three." Nick hung up.

Tony grinned. This was going to be fun.

 


	4. Phase Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have so many stories I have to be working on but this just won't let me go. I need the fluff.

Melinda leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. "You know, I honestly thought the closet thing was a joke. I know I fed into it, but I didn't expect your children to actually pull this off."

Phil was pushing at the door and couldn't get it to budge. He ignored that. "Tashie? Clint?"

"Yes Daddy?" Clint asked.

"No offense baby, but if there was just a bean bag chair in front of the door, I'd be able to move it."

"I know, that's what Uncle Nick said. So in the night Uncle Tony replaced the door, it has a reinforced lock and can now only be opened from the outside with a palm code. Isn't that neat?"

"They messed with my library?" Melinda's voice was hard.

Phil swallowed. It wasn't scary. Or really sexy. "Kids, when are we being let out?"

"Uncle Tony said you need at least one hour for the magic to happen." Tashie paused. "Then he said it had been so long since you had magic that maybe you'd be done before the show was over. Don't you like magic shows Daddy?"

Phil groaned and banged his head against the door. Melinda tried to cover her snort of laughter with a cough.

"I put goldfish crackers in there Daddy, and two juice boxes - fruit punch!" Clint sounded so proud of himself.

"Thank you Clint." Phil said tiredly. "Do you have an adult there with you?"

"Hey AC!" Skye said and she thumped the door. "The kids and I are going to the game store. Be back in an hour. Enjoy the magic!" Skye was clearly laughing.

"You are fired." 

"No, I'm not."

"No, she's not." The kids added. "Bye Daddy!" Phil could hear them asking Skye if they should have left a deck of cards to help with the magic tricks.

Phil sat on the ground. Melinda sat on a storage crate. "Your friends are very determined."

"My friends are certifiable." Phil looked at her. "I would like to apologize for my friends and family. They are..." His voice trailed off, because honestly there was no explaining them.

"They care for you very much." Melinda noticed the small cooler. She opened it and found that along with the goldfish and juice boxes there was an ipod and a bunch of pink and purple heart confetti. She pulled out the ipod and pressed play. Old love songs from the 40s began to play.

"Oh come on, even Pepper got involved?" Phil shouted to the heavens. "She is supposed to be the reasonable one."

"Pepper?"

"Tony's CEO. And wife." Phil smiled. "She is very nice and the least insane of all of us."

"Are you insane?"

"Well I'm friends with lunatic and I'm raising two twins that at their last parent teacher conference were called "the harbingers of the end times"." Phil smiled proudly at that.

"I hope you explained to the teacher that your children are smart and creative people who will in fact one day save the world and if they are spoken about again in that manner, you will bring about a more personal end of times." Melinda's voice was simple, matter of fact.

"Marry me." Phil looked at her in awe.

Melinda threw a juice box at his head and he caught it easily. She ignored the joking question.

Too bad Phil was quite serious.

"So how long has it been since you've been to a magic show?" Melinda asked as she stabbed the straw into the box. She smiled as Phil ducked his head and began to write in the dust on one box beside him. "That long hmmmm?"

"My wife." Phil answered finally. "I haven't been with anyone since her."

Melinda slid from the crate onto the ground. She stretched out her legs so that her foot almost touched his. "She died?"

"Car accident on the way to rehearsal. She was a cellist." Phil smiled a little. "I have some recordings of her playing for the kids to listen to at night. Let's them know her a little."

"Do either of them look like her?" Melinda asked. Unspoken was that neither really looked like Phil.

"No. Well, Clint has her smile, and Natasha her heart." Phil shrugged. "We had to use a sperm donor, I'm infertile. So I figure they must look like his family."

Melinda nodded. "I am quite fond of your children." 

"They are very fond of you." Phil spun his juice box around. "Do you think that maybe you could be fond of me?"

Melinda looked at him. He wouldn't look up. Her black boot nudged his wing tips until he looked up. "Ask me on a date Phil."

"Ms Melinda May, would you like to go on a date with me?"

"Yes I would."

Phil smiled this small little grin that was both bashful and pleased. "Tashie copies that smile." She said. "They might not look like you, but they copy you." At this, Phil's smile grew blinding. Melinda scooted over and kissed his cheek. "I like Italian." She offered.

"I know a place."

"Good." She went back to her side of the floor. "Goldfish cracker?" She held out the bag.

Phil took one. "So...which branch of the government were you with before you became a librarian?"

Melinda rolled her eyes. "Why won't any of you believe that I have always been a librarian?"

Phil looked at the all black she was wearing. "Call it a hunch."

"I promise Phil, I'm a librarian, and I have always been one." She looked at him. "Any papers been pushing back for you recently?"

"One or two." Phil said mildly. 

"Tell me."

Phil told her what he could about his job and how he became friends with Tony, and Melinda really liked the idea of Phil threatening Tony with a tazer. The hour passed quickly and Phil fell back through the door when Skye pulled it open.

"Hey AC, you get some magic going?" Skye grinned.

Melinda stood. "I have to return to work." But she crouched beside the fallen Phil and pulled his phone out of his pocket and added her number to the contacts. "Call me." She looked at Tashie and Clint who both looked so nervous but hopeful. She put the phone back and kissed his cheek. 

"Yes!!!!!!!" Clint yelled and jumped up and down. Tashie was calmer but smiling that smile that matched Phil's.

"No more closets." Melinda said sternly.

"No Scary Melinda." Clint promised. He then paused. "Do airplanes count too? Because that is phase 6."

Melinda paused. "No. No I don't want to know." She left the four of them, to hopefully explain her absence to her boss.

Phil stayed on the ground. Skye, Clint, and Tashie all looked down at him.

"You are all in trouble." Phil warned.

They all shrugged, it was worth it. "You got a number AC." Skye said.

"And a date." Phil sat up. Skye and the kids collected the supplies from the closet.

Clint looked around the room. "Was there magic Daddy?"

"I suppose, just a little bit." Phil answered.

"Did you finish too soon like Uncle Tony said?" Clint asked.

Skye burst into laughter and Phil just glared at her. 

Tashie looked at them. "Grown ups are silly." She helped Clint clean up the juice boxes.

Phil tried to kick Skye who easily dodged out of the way.

He texted Pepper.  _Make Tony's life hell_.

Within two minutes he had a text back  _Done._

Good. He couldn't be too mad though.

He had a date.

 


	5. Interlude 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil and Melinda have to get ready for their date.

The text had been simple

_Thursday at 7 at Dulce's on 5th?_

She had replied yes and it was now Thursday at 5 and she was home from work and really all that was required was a change of shirt, maybe brush her hair, and freshen her lipstick. The restaurant was well reviewed according to her search and casual dress. This should be easy.

She picked up her phone.

"Captain Hill speaking."

"Why do I own only black?"

"Because you said when you were 25 that it matched the emptiness of your soul and the hardness of your heart." Maria answered. "Sort of thought by your forties you would have grown out of that. But what can you do?" Maria could be heard typing. "Why are you calling, I have three murders and a half dozen assaults sitting on my desk, looking like it is going to be a long night."

"I feel like wearing all black on my date could be misconstrued."

"I'll be there in 20." Maria hung up. It was more like forty because she had stopped at home. "I have clothes."

"If there is pink in there, I will end you." Melinda said.

"What about purple?" Maria smiled. "Dark purple."

"Clint likes purple."

"Is the date's name Clint?" Maria smirked.

"No." Melinda decided this was a bad idea. "Go away."

"I have the good stuff, to take the edge off." Maria held out some bourbon along with the wardrobe bag.

"You aren't completely useless." Melinda let her in.

"It's words like that that have kept our friendship alive."

*****************************

"Why don't you own a purple suit Daddy?" Clint was hanging upside down off the bed. Tashie was in the chair, playing with some of her mother's jewelry that Phil had made sure to save for her.

"Daddy doesn't look good in purple." Tashie explained. She had on five necklaces. 

"Everyone looks good in purple." Clint leaned back a bit more. "Floor. Floor, floor, floorfloorfloor." Phil leaned over with long practice and easily set his son to rights. "What about a purple thingamabob?" He pointed at his chest.

"You mean pocket square?" Phil asked and Clint nodded. "I'm meeting her at Dulce's, a suit might be a little formal. I was just thinking trousers and a shirt."

Tashie grapped her father's Starkpad. "Auntie Pep Pep, is a shirt and pants okay for Daddy for his date?" She asked after the call was answered.

"Depends on the shirt and pants." Pepper said calmly. "What are your options?" 

Tashie spun the pad around and Phil yelped. "I'm just in boxers Tashie!"

"And your lucky Captain America socks, I see." Pepper did her best not to laugh. "Phil, are you nervous?"

"Of course I'm nervous!" Phil complained. "This is my first date in a decade." He sighed. "I want it to go well and I figure I'll somehow make something horrible happen. I just need to keep calm."

"Oh dear." Pepper winced. "Maybe don't answer the door?"

But it isn't like Tony is good at knocking. He swept through the house and into the bedroom. "Oh good, I was going to conference Pep in anyways."

Skye peeked her head in, "This mean I can help too, AC?"

Phil rolled his eyes. "Fine, let's make this a group effort." 

Tashie carefully propped up the Starkpad on the dresser, so Pepper could help.

"We need music. Something sassy. Shit we should be at a mall, with a change room." Tony looked around. "We could move the bed so you could runway walk."

"No."

But Clint and Skye were already moving the bed.

******************************

"So what does he do?" Maria was sitting on the bed, a glass of bourbon in hand. "Last one was a surgeon right? And the one before that something boring."

"A state supreme court judge." Melinda's voice was dry.

"Right boring." Maria repeated. "What does Clint do?"

"I told you, his name isn't Clint."

"But you are wearing the purple striped shirt because Clint likes purple. That's confusing." Maria decided to go through Melinda's shoes, pick the best option.

"Clint is his son, he likes purple."

Maria pulled her head out of the closet. "Son?"

"He has twins. Clint and Tashie." Melinda pulled her hair back and frowned. She let it drop into its normal style. She didn't understand fussing with hair.

"Jesus, you must scare the hell out of them." Maria said. She caught Melinda's look. "Mel?"

"They aren't scared of me." She said quietly. "I mean Clint still checks for plugs in case I'm an A.I. and nothing will convince Tashie that I'm not a spy." Melinda looked at Maria. "Tashie has been dressing in all black. Adults run away from my...cold personality. And they just kept me. No one's kept me in a long time."

"I've kept you."

"Yes well, you hit your head a lot when you were a teenager."

"That's the kids. What about their dad?" Maria asked. She grabbed a pair of ankle boots and moved closer.

"Phil. He's quiet. Sensible. Thoughtful. A little nervous." Melinda smiled. "I think he is shy."

***************************

Skye had to run from the room before she peed her pants. She hadn't known that Phil and Tony could dance like that and Phil had looked quite good in his wife's small tiara. She got back to see them doing a full out Brittany Spears dance routine with Tashie and Clint jumping on the bed. Skye fell to the floor laughing.

Pepper was laughing too and recording every second of this. Tony looked rather fetching in Skye's lipstick. And he seemed to know all the words for Oops I Did It Again, which she was going to exploit later.

"Gentlemen, I need to remind you, Phil's date is in 40 minutes and it will take him 20 to get there and park." Pepper called out. "Finish the dance routine."

"Awww dancing." Clint sounded so sad that it would stop. 

"Scary Melinda." Tashie reminded him, pulling herself together. "And Uncle Tony will stay and dance with us more." She smiled up at him.

"Of course I will." Tony smiled and he clapped his hands. "So, clothes. This is why I was sent in the first place. Your dad of course can't be as stylish as me, but we'll work with what we have."

Tony turned back and faced the wrath of three frowns.

"Daddy's beautiful." Clint said.

"He's super handsome." Tashie agreed.

"Yeah, AC has like that sexy prof thing going on when he wears his glasses." Phil blinked and looked at her. "Hey if I had a thing for older men, you'd fit the bill. Ooooh, you should wear the glasses, bet librarian would like that." Skye went back to the bathroom to get them.

"Yes, yes, Phil is I suppose a decent looking older man."

"Only four years older than you Tony." Phil smiled. "And I can easily kick your ass."

"So, dark grey pants and the nice dark blue shirt."

"I agree. I also agree with the glasses." Pepper adding from her location. "You are very attractive in your glasses." Tony sent a wounded look to Pepper. "Sorry, Tony, your's are a little douchy." Phil made sure to look away. He pulled out the clothes suggested and put them on. Skye came back with the glasses and he took out the contacts.

"So?"

Tashie clapped and Clint hugged him. "You look good." Tashie said.

Skye nodded and Pepper gave a word or two of encouragement before signing off.

Phil looked at Tony. "Did you manscape just in case?" Tony asked.

Phil grabbed his wallet and watch and kissed his children. "I won't be late, be good for Skye."

"They always are." Skye said. "Have fun AC."

Phil dragged Tony away with him.

************************************

Melinda finished her make up. "So?" she absolutely did not do a girly spin.

"You look good." Maria said. "You, just a little softer than usual." Maria grabbed a clutch for Melinda and began to put essentials inside. "I brought you condoms."

"Hill, it's a first date and he's the sort who wouldn't stay out on a school night."

"Sounds boring." Maria sighed. "You never said what boring dad does."

Melinda was fiddling with her watch. "He's said he works for SHIELD. That he's a paper pusher, that he got the job mostly because his friend Nick works there."

Maria froze a little. "SHIELD. Nick. As in Nick Fury the founder and president and CEO and scary motherfucker Nick Fury?"

"I don't know, he never said a last name. The kids have mentioned Uncle Nick a couple times, he's the one who taught them to pick locks."

Maria flipped through her mental notes. "Phil. Phil Coulson, liaison to Tony Stark, and Assistant Director of SHIELD."

"He did mention that the paper pushes back. Tony bought me a new desk."

"You've met Tony Stark?" Maria looked at her friend. 

Melinda started to walk through the house. "Yeah, he's Uncle Tony, he's a smartass."

"He's the third richest man in the world."

"Feels like it should have been a nicer desk then." Melinda said thoughtfully. She put on the boots Maria handed to her. 

"You...where do you find these men?" Maria asked.

"I didn't find this one, his kids found me."

"Yeah, I'm waiting here for all the details."

"Go home, Hill."

"Try no way. Go have fun, or fall flat on your face. Either way I'm sticking around for this story." Maria grinned and handed Melinda the purse. "Go forth and date."

Melinda paused. "I want this to go well."

"You are Melinda May, haven't seen you not get what you want in twenty years."

Melinda nodded. "Don't eat all my leftovers."

"No promises."

Melinda got to her car and took a deep breath and pulled out of her driveway.

***********************************

"Mean, I want to stay and dance." Tony pouted as he was dragged out of the house.

Phil let go on the porch. He put his hands in his pockets, to hide how they clenched. "Tony, how do I date?" He hated that his voice came out weak and scared.

"I'll call Pepper." Tony was reaching for his phone.

"No, I'm asking you." Phil looked at him. "You...You are an emotional idiot, an immature, hedonistic playboy, who rarely used his brain for social situations."

"Gee thanks Agent." Tony snarked using the old nickname. He was trying hard not to feel hurt.

"And then you realized what Pepper meant to you. And there was just this once, she handed you a coffee and you took it and the way you looked at her, it made me really see you for the first time. That was when we started to become friends. So I'm asking you, I'm asking the guy I saw in that moment, the guy I've seen more and more every day, how do I date?"

Tony put his phone back in his pocket. "You don't think about the big picture or the future, even the possibility of a second date, because then you'll choke and run." Tony fiddled with his wedding band. "You keep it simple. Your heart rate, her smile. Order something you already know you like. Look her in the eye and listen. Don't try to be smooth, they see through it, when the girl matters they see right through. Ask her about her perfect day, her funniest job moment, tell her about the time we woke up in FAO Schwartz, and tell her about Tashie and Clint's first steps. Just stay right there in the moment and you'll be okay."

Phil nodded. "Thanks, Tony. Go back in and dance."

Tony clapped him on the shoulder. "Curfew is 11, don't be late or your grounded."

Phil smiled and got into his car.

*************************************

"Hi." Phil smiled. "You look nice."

"So do you." Melinda replied.

They stood there in front of the restaurant just looking at each other, both feeling a little awkward and saying nothing. He could see the window table with it's little reserved sign, waiting for them.

"Want to go get a hot dog and walk in the park?" Phil asked.

"That sounds great." Melinda held out a hand and Phil took it, walking them over to a vendor.

***********************************

"Goddamn assholes, I had everything set up!" Nick yelled at his monitor from the van. "Well, get a fucking move on and get our men out of the restaurant and properly tailing them." 

The man in the back jumped and immediately started giving orders to the agents in the restaurant.

"Now I have to hack the park cameras. Asshole making me do extra work." Nick grumbled. How was he supposed to make sure Phil didn't screw this up, if Phil went off book. "And he should have worn jeans, girl would have probably liked his ass in jeans." He muttered. "And someone get me some take out fettucini already." The driver ran for the restaurant.


	6. Phase Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We move forward a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right so this one story is going to turn into a bit of a series. Part Two will be Tony and Pepper adopting 9 year old Bruce. Part 3 will be bonus chapters and excerpts and this is where what actually happened on that first date will occur.

"Daddy?" Clint poked Phil. "Library time, don't you want to see Scary Melinda?"

"I do." Phil promised. "Just give me a minute, sweetie." Phil tried to sit up and groaned. "Maybe two minutes."

Clint's lip wobbled. "Do you have more ouchies than you said? Because I can kiss them all better."

Phil smiled. "I'm fine, Clint. Just a little more banged up than maybe I said." He managed to pull himself up and tried to figure out how he would manage to drive. He had been away for two weeks on a job, and it hadn't ended well. He was very happy for the reinforced doors on SHIELD SUVs, meant he had cracked ribs and a bunch of stitches, instead of missing a limb or two. 

"Did you miss Scary Melinda while you were away? Did you bring her a good girl toy, like you bring for all of us?" Clint hovered beside his dad, trying to figure out what to do.

Phil thought about the small statue in his closet. "Yeah, I did."

"Gifts are Phase Four." Tashie said, appearing out of nowhere. "Library?"

"Yes, just need another minute." Phil was gathering his energy to stand.

"AC, get your ass back down and take your medication!" Skye yelled. "I'll take the kids to the library."

"I can do it, I've missed them."

"I know you have, but you are healing. Keep your butt in place, or I call Pepper." Skye crossed her arms. Clint and Tashie looked at Skye and crossed their arms too. 

"I'm fine." Phil protested, ignoring that he hadn't managed to stand up yet.

Skye pushed a gentle finger against his ribs and he fell back down onto his pillows.

Phil tried to make the saddest face he could, the one Clint did when asking for a puppy. "I want to see my girlfriend."

Skye smiled. "I'll give your  _girlfriend_ , your regards." she promised. "Come on you two, let's give your dad a chance to nap." Skye helped the kids get ready and buckled them into their booster seats. She ran back into the house and got Phil his painkillers and a blanket. "Take those and nap."

"You aren't my nanny."

"Yeah, well the actual children show more sense than you do sometimes." Skye kissed the top of his head. "I've got this."

"It was a good day Tashie kidnapped you." Phil yawned.

Skye didn't say anything just locked the house behind her. She hopped into the family car and turned on some music. "So, do I actually get to talk to librarian today? You tend to make me stay far away. I get the bonding time, but Tony's met her, and I heard all about the 'Nick and the Drones' incident. So come on, my turn." She started to drive towards the library.

Tashie and Clint were furiously whispering and Skye pretended not to hear anything. "It's time." Tashie said.

"But Uncle Tony said that's Phase -"

"We found her, we can make some of the rules too." Tashie said. "Don't you want her to come?"

"Well sure, she'll be fun, but we don't have an invitation. Auntie Pep Pep says those are important."

"Invitation for what Clint?" Skye asked.

Tashie and Clint looked at each other. "We want to invite her to family game night next Friday. Uncle Tony said it is too soon, but I bet she is fun to play Harry Potter Clue with." Clint said. 

"I want to play Catan Jr." Tashie added.

Skye looked at them in the rearview mirror. She pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car. "Are you guys sure? I know we've all been playing, and I'm as happy as the rest that your dad is dating, but family game night is a big deal." Skye had instituted it when she moved in. Every Friday night, Phil didn't work late, he came home with pizza and they ate it and played games. He worked too much, and was away more than he liked, and this gave the family stability. It gave the kids time with their dad that was as guaranteed as his time could be. Nick wasn't allowed at all, to avoid any shop talk, and even Pepper and Tony had only been invited a couple of times.

"We've thought about it." Tashie answered. "We want to keep her Skye. She's ours." Her voice was strong and certain.

"Clint?"

"She doesn't think I'm dumb because I'm not as clever as Tashie, and she doesn't think my purple nails are silly, and she listens to us. She doesn't pat us on our head. When we say she's a robot, she doesn't pinch our cheeks or call us cute, she explains ways that prove she isn't a robot." Clint took a breath. "And she smells pretty. And would keep bed monsters away."

Tashie and Skye looked at each other. Skye really wanted to murder the pre-k teacher who had said things about Clint's intelligence, but Phil had nixed it. But she knew Phil had done something because when they ran into her once, the woman had paled, dropped her shopping cart and just ran.

"Okay then, so want to go do story time, or put together a kick ass invitation for game night?" Skye didn't need an answer beside their grins.

**********************************

Melinda looked at the clock and realized that story time was just about up and the twins hadn't popped up. She had changed the door code, just to see if they would break in. She was perhaps a little worried. After their fourth date in a month, she hadn't heard from Phil for a couple weeks now and wondered if perhaps they weren't working out. She didn't like that idea. And liked it even less if the kids were pulling away from her.

Or, it was one of the Saturday's where people decided that the twins had to pretend that they got along with other children. Melinda decided to go for a stroll by the kids corner. She opened the office door and stepped out and collided with Clint who fell on him bum.

"Bum ow." Clint said sadly. Melinda helped him up and smoothed a hand over his hair. He leaned into the touch.

"I'm sorry." she said.

"It's okay." Clint replied. He hugged her leg. "Hello Scary Melinda." He gave her knee a couple of pokes.

"There isn't a plug in spot there Clint." Melinda said fondly. She looked at Tashie. "And no I don't have a murder paper clip in my pocket." 

"Bobby pin?" Tashie asked.

"My hair is down."

"Oh." Tashie frowned a little before she remembered her manners. "This is Skye, she's our people when Dad is busy saving the world."

"That means I'm the live in nanny."

"We kept her. She had a van."

"A cool van." Skye replied. "And it was very cozy to live in." 

"It smelled like noodles." Clint answered back. "I worried about your salt intake."

"You were three, you were worried because you dropped Mister Fuzzy Butt in the sewer." 

Melinda watched the exchange. "It is very nice to meet you Skye."

"Right. Hi!" Skye sort of waved. "AC is sorry, he wanted to bring the kids today, but he was in a car accident on his business trip and is dealing with some cracked ribs." Skye bit her lip when Melinda raised her brow. "It was a car accident." Skye said defensively. 

"That is why I haven't heard from him, he's been in the hospital?" Melinda asked curious.

Skye rolled her eyes. "He's not so good at contact when a work emergency comes up and you are new so you aren't on the list yet."

"List?"

Tashie poked Skye, bored with the talk. "We need the thing."

Skye reached into her purse and held out the envelope. The kids did rock paper scissors and Tashie won. She took the envelope and handed it to Melinda. "Scary Melinda we hope you would like to join us for family game night."

Melinda opened the envelope to pull out the construction paper card covered in a great deal of glitter glue. "Sorry, we wanted to make it fancy." Clint offered up. "I drew the picture inside." Melinda opened it to see stick people at a table. Skye had clearly written the time and place and shaky hands had traced the letters.

"I would very much like to come to game night." Melinda said. She smiled when the twins bounced.

"Awesome. I need to give her some extra details, so how about you two go pick out some books to take home." Skye nudged them a bit away and they tore off for the children's section. "Right, so you are completely scary, and I am pretty sure that Tashie's right that you could kill me with a paperclip, but you can't mess this up. Game night is important. Like super important." Skye started to gesture, but pulled her hands back at Melinda's look. "AC travels for work, more than he'd like, less than Nick would like. And he works long hours. But game night is sacred, he never misses it if he doesn't have to. It is family. And they want you there. So I'm telling you, if you can't see forever with my babies there, you walk away now."

"I've known them four months, been dating their father for a few weeks, I can't promise you anything." Melinda held up a hand as Skye opened her mouth. "But I do know, my world would be a lot dimmer without them there. I'm not family, I don't know if I'll ever be family, but they matter to me. A great deal. I protect the things that matter."

"Well, that didn't sound scary at all." Skye winced a little. "And also, trust me, this bunch has a loose definition of family." Clint and Tashie came back with books. "So Friday?"

"Friday." Melinda agreed.

***********************************

Phil came home at exactly 5pm two pizzas and garlic bread in hand. He was very happy that he didn't drop the pizza when he saw Melinda sitting on his couch, the kids on either side of her talking about their day. "Hello." He looked at Skye. "I didn't know we were expecting company."

"The kids invited me." Melinda smiled. 

"Yeah, with a fancy invitation and everything." Clint said. "Used three colours of glitter glue."

"That is fancy." Phil agreed "You should have told me though, I wouldn't have bought dare pizza."

"Dare pizza?" Melinda asked.

"My idea!" Clint bounced a little. "Each week we get one nice pizza and one stupid pizza. Each person tries to think of a topping combo that is super gross and we all have to try it. Person who eats the most of it gets to go first in the games. It was Tashie's pick this week."

"Anchovies, pineapple, olives, salami, with pesto sauce." Tashie grinned.

"It smells unpleasant." Phil offered. "The other is just plain pepperoni."

Melinda stood. "I like a challenge." She smiled at him and took the pizza boxes into the kitchen with Skye.

Phil watched her move. She was wearing the black jeans from the second date. He wanted to write odes to those jeans.

"Is it okay we invited her daddy?" Tashie asked.

"Of course it is." Phil said. He had texted with her a few times this week and had been planning a fancy dinner this weekend. This was better. And he was breathing mostly fine. 

Skye and Melinda came back with plates for everyone and they all stared at the dare pizza.

"Nope, not happening, I'm happy to go dead last in the games." Skye pushed the plate away.

Phil took a bite and so did Clint. Clint spit it out right away and Phil managed another bite before putting it down.

Melinda and Tashie stared at each other. Tashie lasted half a slice and Melinda never took her eyes off of Tashie as she finished the whole thing.

Clint was in awe. "Wow."

Phil nodded, impressed as well.

Melinda wiped her mouth. "That was disgusting." And then she grinned. "But I believe I get to go first." They all switched to the good pizza, and joked about and then washed their hands before settling at the table.

"Harry Potter Clue?" Clint asked hopefully.

"That sounds fun." Melinda agreed.

"And then Catan."

"Yes, Tashie, then Catan." Phil gave her a small hug. 

They played until Clint started to yawn more than he was playing, no matter that he kept saying he was awake.

"Think it is time for pajamas you two."

"I'll take them up." Skye offered.

"But we wanna see the good girl toy Daddy has for Scary Melinda." Clint protested.

"Oh thank god Tony didn't hear that sentence." Skye muttered.

"I'll go get it. I know where Daddy hides everything." Tashie scrambled for the stairs.

"Good girl treat?" Melinda asked.

"When Daddy goes on business trips he brings back stuff. I got this neat puzzle thing, and Tashie got these ballet shoes, and Skye got that new book about hackers she wanted. The family treats." Clint yawned again. "Can I have a cuddle?" Phil held out his arms and watched as Clint climbed into Melinda's lap. He watched Clint snuggle in and Melinda's arms look awkward around him, but she didn't ask him to move.

Tashie came down with a box. "Here it is." She gave it to Phil.

Phil fidgeted a little and held the box out. "I'm sorry I didn't stay in contact, I'll do better next time."

Melinda opened the gift around Clint and pulled out the small statue. It was a woman dressed all in black and holding a sword, ready to fight. It was both delicate and strong at the same time. "It's beautiful thank you."

"You are welcome." Phil smiled that little happy smile. "Kids, say good night."

Clint gave Melinda a giant hug and wet kiss on her cheek. "See you tomorrow for story time at the library." He slid off her lap and went to Skye and leaned against her. 

Tashie came over and saluted. Melinda saluted back. And absolutely didn't melt when Tashie gave her a quick hug before running away. Skye smiled at them and led the kids upstairs.

Phil began to pack up the board games and Melinda gathered the plates that had held cookies. "You don't have to help."

"I don't mind." Melinda took the plates to the kitchen and came back just as Phil closed the cupboard. "I had fun tonight."

"Really?" Phil sounded so hopeful.

"Really." Melinda promised. "But I should go."

"You could stay a little longer? Maybe for a glass of wine?" 

"No, you tuck your kids in." Melinda collected her purse and her gift, and stood at the door. "I'm off on Monday, you could come over to my place for dinner?"

"That could be good." Phil said. "I could bring the wine."

"You could." she agreed.

They stood by the front door and stared at each other. They did that a lot. Phil liked the silence of her, the quiet. He liked watching the tiny little movements in her face, eye flickers, cheek twitches. He could study her for hours.

"Oh my god just kiss, the UST is killing me." Skye said from the stairs.

"What's UST?" Clint asked.

"Ummm, ask Uncle Tony." Skye finished lamely. "But still, kiss already."

Phil glared at the three of them and they were all completely unfazed.

"Hey you're the one who called her your girlfriend, she deserves a kiss." Skye grinned.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss." Tashie called out and all three started chanting it and Clint even stomped his feet.

"I'm sorry." Phil said, turning bright red.

"I'm not." Melinda put a hand on his cheek and pressed her lips against his. It was soft and sweet and she pulled away after a moment.

"That would have woken up Sleeping Beauty." Tashie said.

"Is Daddy Sleeping Beauty?" Clint asked.

"Sort of." Skye said. "He's been asleep for a long time."

"Like the nap he took yesterday?"

"Yeah like that." Skye grinned. "Come away, let them have the second kiss in private."

"When can Scary Melinda sleep over?" Tashie asked. "She could share my room."

"Let's leave sleep over planning to your dad." Skye suggested as she threw a wink over her shoulder, finally leaving them alone.

"You might want to reconsider signing up with this crew, we are not exactly balanced." Phil said.

"Seem alright to me."

Phil took a breath and leaned in and for once lead a kiss between them. It was a little rougher, firmer, and just a little bit of tongue. "I'm very glad they invited you tonight."

"Me too." Melinda agreed. She gave him one more kiss and left.

An hour later Phil got a text.

_Girlfriend?_

Phil typed carefully,  _is that a problem?_

The answer came quickly,  _No. Just confirming terminology. Good night, boyfriend._

There was the little typing bubble.

 _No that sounds weird from me. Good night, my Phil_.

Phil was happy with that, he was happy being a my Phil.

 

The next day when the kids broke into the office for the Melinda story time, Phil's statue was right beside their gifts.


	7. Phase 5 (Melinda's Phase)

"Ms May, we do expect all of our employees to attend the gala." Her boss droned on, talking about responsibilities and team spirit. "Now I trust you need just your one ticket or will your friend be joining you again?"

Melinda began to wish she did have Tashie's death paperclip on her. "No sir, I'll need two tickets, for myself and my boyfriend." 

"Oh." She was pleased this had flustered him. "Of course. That will be 80 dollars then."

Melinda handed over the money and took the two tickets. "Perhaps wear something less...scary?" Melinda just glared at the man. "The Wards are planning the make a generous contribution, we have to all put our best feet forward."

"I'll wear pink and bows, sir." Melinda smiled and the man hurried away.

She grabbed her phone and went outside. She started to type a text and erased it four times. Finally she decided to just call.

"Hey Melinda." Phil always sounded happy to hear from her.

"Do you own an evening suit, or a tux?"

"I do." She could hear him moving papers about. "Life as Stark's liaison means a lot of formal wear."

"Would you be amenable to wearing one of those suits with me? There is a fundraiser gala for the library and rec centre and all senior employees are expected to attend. There will be a silent auction and a cash bar. But the dessert is usually tolerable."

"Will there be dancing?" 

"Why?"

"Because I want to dance with you Melinda May."

"That was almost suave." Melinda smiled.

"Been practicing, the kids give me lines. Clint suggested I tell you that you are cooler than a freezie."

"A high compliment. The gala is Saturday three weeks from now."

"It is marked on my calendar." Melinda heard a knock. "I have to go, we still on for coffee tomorrow at lunch?"

"Yes. Goodbye my Phil." She always closed their conversations like that. He never said goodbye usually distracted by work or children. She never minded. She sent a quick text to Skye for her to pass onto the children:  _I've got Phase 5 taken care of_. She thought that would amuse them.

She was sent back a series of confusing emojiis and a video of the two doing their happy dances. She went back to work, feeling very content.

********************************

Maria was doing Melinda's hair when her phone buzzed. Melinda put it on speaker. "Hello?"

"Hey Melinda. Slight snag." Phil sounded winded.

"What sort of snag?" Maria asked. "You are not bailing." Melinda glared at Maria who was unrepentant. 

"No no." They heard some shattering glass. "Just a little delayed and I might be in my work suit. It might be a little mussed." They heard shouting. "Get that door open, I don't care how." Phil shouted. "Sorry, sorry, almost done at the office." Another pause and they heard a minor explosion. "Don't let them breach the third floor." More shouts. "Anyways, can't wait to see you, I sent along something to the gala that should help you as an apology for running late. I bet your black dress is going to be gorgeous." The phone cut off at the rat a tat of an assault rifle.

"Tell me again how he's an analyst and a paper pusher. You know fairy tales are my favourite." Maria finished brushing Melinda's hair.

"Well, sometimes paper puts up a fight?" Melinda looked down at the dress Maria had stuck her in. "I look like a Christmas ornament."

"You look sexy and beautiful and when he gets there with bullet wounds, he'll be blown away."

"He won't be shot." Melinda said calmly. "He's just got a late meeting."

Both women laughed at that.

Melinda drove to the gala and stood outside the door. She had both tickets and hoped he wouldn't be much longer. She got a text  _by dessert I swear. Papers pushing back harder than I thou_

She really hoped his phone battery just died. Melinda went to the door and handed over her ticket. "My date is just running a little late. Can I leave his ticket here with his name on it?"

"Of course." 

Melinda nodded her thanks and went into the ballroom. It was quite lovely and elegant. She really wished Phil was beside her. She went to the bar and paid a stupid amount for a rather cheap glass of red and looked for the couple co-workers that she could tolerate, which surprisingly included Simmons the children's librarian. Simmons was with her boyfriend Fitz and Melinda went over. "Hello."

Fitz gulped a little still terrified of Melinda even though they had met a dozen times. "Hullo."

"Hi Melinda. It's pretty tonight isn't it? Much better than last year. Have to been over to the auction table, a few nice things. A lot donated by the Wards of course." Jemma chattered.

"Of course." Melinda sipped her drink and willed Phil to get there faster.

"Is your boyfriend here?" Jemma asked.

"You have a boyfriend? Will you eat his head after mating?" 

Melinda smiled as Jemma stepped hard on her boyfriend's foot. "Sorry, Melinda, he's in the middle of a lot at work and hasn't slept."

He blushed. "I didn't mean..."

"It's okay Fitz, you were joking." Melinda said kindly. "And he had a late work meeting, he promised to be here by dessert."

"Oh come on, is there a man actually brave enough to date the fierce archivist?" A deep voice interrupted them.

"Hello Ward." Melinda said, her voice a touch cold.

"Hello, sir." Jemma added. "Thank you so much for everything you do for the library, you as always have been incredibly generous."

"It does make a wonderful tax write off doesn't it?" Melinda said looking at him.

"Ms May that's offensive, knowledge is precious and must be encouraged." Ward sounded wounded. "Do you think your boyfriend will make a donation, should he arrive. There are a few silent auction items that have a nice low price." Ward smiled. "What did you say he does?"

"I didn't. He's in senior management for a security company." Melinda kept it vague. "He does liaisons and analysis."

"Oh any interesting clients? I know our company is always looking for new security men." Ward smirked a little. "If his middle age spread isn't too much."

"Sorry, pal. I don't think you'd be able to afford Phil's salary." A voice said behind Melinda. Melinda groaned in her head.

"I don't know who you are but I'm sure I can afford it." Ward looked at the man and thought he seemed really familiar.

Fitz dropped his glass. "You...you're...oh my god, do you know who you are?"

"Fitz?" Jemma was concerned, he never stuttered.

"Sure I know who I am, it's monogrammed on all my undies."

Melinda sighed. "Tony, try to behave." She looked at the woman on his arm. "Hello Virginia."

Pepper leaned in and kissed Melinda, which surprised Melinda, as of yet they had only met once at Phil's place. "Melinda. You look lovely. Phil's going to die when he sees you."

"Honestly, thought I had had a stroke and was seeing things when you weren't in black." Tony said and he kissed Melinda too. "Phil sent us as an apology. Was easy enough to get a couple spare tickets at the door. Now introduce me, I like to hear the awe in people's voices when they shake my hand."

Melinda and Pepper rolled their eyes. "Jemma, Leo, Mr. Ward, may I present Mrs Virginia Potts-Stark and Mr Tony Stark."

"It's okay, you can take your time. I know meeting me is a shock to most people's systems." Tony smiled.

Grant stared at Tony indeed in shock, and Fitz kept babbling, so Jemma stepped up. "How do you do sir. I feel like I've seen you before."

"Brought Clint and Tashie to book time once. I'm their godfather."

Jemma's eyes widened. "Oh this explains so much about the robot situation with Clint."

Pepper laughed a little.

"Actually I've been meaning to talk to you about that, I designed some toddler friendly robots for Clint and Tashie when they were younger and have a bunch left over, you want?" Tony asked.

"That's too generous sir." Jemma protested.

Fitz grabbed her arm. "You have a chance to get robots Stark built himself. If you say no...you can't say no. Please Simmons, Stark robots."

"I like the nerd. Do you need a job standard nerd?" Tony asked.

Fitz forgot how to form sentences.

"Tony, I'm Grant Ward, president of -"

"Don't care. That's Pep's job." Tony shrugged and looked around the room. "Ooh toys, I'm gonna see if I want one." Tony walked off without another word.

"Sorry, he's a jackass." Melinda said.

Grant and Fitz both gasped in shock. 

Pepper just nodded. "Miss Simmons, Melinda, let's go get another glass of wine, before we have to sit, the speeches at these things are dreadful."

"I'm the key speaker." Grant protested.

Pepper just smiled. "As I said."

Jemma walked away with the older women. "That was cold."

"He is not kind to Melinda." Pepper said like that explained everything. And for her it did.

Melinda looked at them and for one second engaged in girl talk. "Be easy on him, he's a lousy lay." She grinned as Jemma choked and Pepper giggled.

Tony came running over. "That was Pepper's gossip giggle. I want to know too."

"No." All the women said.

"Oh fine." Tony pouted. "I added something to the auction table by the way. Phil said to be generous so that your job wasn't cut. Which is stupid because frankly if your job was cut, we'd hire you in a second."

"Have need for a librarian Mister Stark?" Melinda asked.

"The Library of Congress wants all of Dad's notes. They need to be organized, you seem organized." Tony said easily. "I could hire you, or just make the Library of Congress give you a job."

"I'm fine where I am."

"Hence my donation."

Melinda's boss went to a mic. "Hello everyone, we'll be starting dinner soon, but I wanted to inform you that a new item is on the auction table. You have the chance to win lunch and a lab tour of Stark Industries with Mr. Tony Stark himself."

Tony smiled as a round of applause went up around the room. "Show off." Pepper said affectionately.

Fitz came running over. "Simmons, how much can I spend?"

"We have 100 dollars extra this month." Jemma said.

Fitz frowned. "I could go up to 150 if you are happy eating store brand ramen for a week."

"The bids were already at 1,500." Fitz frowned.

"For lunch with this guy?" Melinda pointed at Tony.

"Hey, I'm rather important you know."

"So you keep saying." Melinda fired back.

"I am so happy you are one of us Melinda." Pepper said.

Fitz stood there completely dejected and all the women stared at Tony, who being a smart fella, got the point within a minute. "Fitz was it? Don't worry about bidding, set a time with Pep here and you can come hang out in the labs for a day."

Fitz's eyes rolled back a bit and Jemma pinched him hard. "You say thank you. You don't go into a catatonic state."

"Besides you are going to eat dinner with him right now and you'll see the luster fade quickly away."

"I have exquisite table manners."

"You hid brussel sprouts and then blamed it on Clint when caught." Melinda glared at him. 

Tony smiled. "Hey, how about I donate an extra couple thousand to the library?"

"How about you do that." Melinda agreed. They all went to a table and Pepper kept the conversation flowing smoothly. Melinda tried to not notice the empty seat beside her. Dessert and speeches passed and the dancing began. Pepper gave Tony A Look.

"Melinda, dance with me." Tony said, standing.

Melinda took his hand. "I know what you are doing."

"Of course you do, Phil wouldn't date a dummy." Tony lead her out onto the dance floor. It was a smooth waltz. "He's worth it you know." Tony said quietly. "Don't walk away because of this."

"I'm sad about tonight, but it isn't the sort of thing that would make me walk away."

"He misses things, but there is always a reason and he always makes it up."

"My father is a bird colonel Tony, I understand about missed recitals and birthdays and the like." Melinda allowed him to spin around. "And he's the sort that when he is there, he is all the way there and that is enough for me."

"Okay then, good. So long as you see he's one of the good guys." Tony sounded just a little relieved.

"I do. I also see that you are one of the good guys too." Melinda grinned a little.

"Lies. Lies and slander. I'm passing you off to someone who can tolerate insanity in a dance partner." Tony spun Melinda out and she landed in Phil's arms.

"Sorry I'm late. I had to change. My other suit was a little...dusty." Phil picked up the steps of the dance quickly.

"You okay?" Melinda gave him a quick look over. God he looked amazing in his tux.

"All is well." He said simply. "You aren't in black." He looked at her silver dress, with its small slit along her thigh. "You uh, look good."

Melinda kissed his cheek. "Try again, use one of the lines the kids gave you."

Phil blushed a little. "Barbie would shave her head and join a cult, ashamed she could never looked as awesome as you."

"Tashie?" 

"Who else?" Phil moved her around the floor effortlessly. "Sparkly is nice on you. You look incredible."

"Better." Melinda allowed him to dip her. "Thank you for sending Tony and Pepper. It helped." Phil lead her off the dance floor.

"Tony as a help is a scary concept." Phil lead her over to the bar and got them both champagne. "To the most beautiful woman in the room."

Melinda smiled a little. Maybe Maria hadn't been so wrong about the dress. 

Phil reached out and ducked a strand of hair behind her ear. He was leaning in to kiss her when Grant interrupted them.

"So this is the intrepid boyfriend." Grant sounded pompous, which was either because Tony kept ignoring him, or he had an extra whiskey or two.

"I am fortunate enough to be dating Melinda, yes." Phil said. "Phil Coulson, my kids spend a lot of time at the library."

"Grant Ward." Grant held out his hand and tried to strong arm the handshake a little. Phil let him, it didn't matter any. "Glad you were able to make it, wouldn't want anyone to think Melinda had made you up." He laughed like it was the funniest joke ever.

Phil tilted his head a little and smiled. Melinda heard Tony say  _oh shit_ and could hear the statico sound of Pepper's heels even over the music. "Mr. Ward,"

"Oh please, it's Grant." 

"No, we're not going to be that friendly." Phil's smile sharpened and he crossed his arms, there was a flash of a holster and god Melinda wanted to eat him from head to toe. "Mr. Ward, you seem to be trying to make fun of my girlfriend and are doing a piss poor job of it. Now I know she can take care of herself, and honestly I would find it an incredible turn on to watch her wipe the floor with you. But still, you seem to be wanting to do the macho display, so I suppose we could step outside and solve this with fisticuffs, where I break...eight bones in your body. Or, I could ask my friends Pepper and Tony to destroy you financially and socially and it would be done by breakfast. Or, you could stop the posturing, enjoy how most of the people in here fawn over your generosity to the library, and leave us the hell alone." Phil held out his hand. "Goodbye Mr. Ward, it was a pleasure to talk to you and I hope you enjoy the rest of your night."

Grant shook his hand and walked away without another word.

"Phil it makes my nethers quiver when you get all forceful like that." Tony said.

"Go dance with your wife Tony." Phil pushed his friend away. "I'm sorry about that Melinda -"

He didn't finish his apology because Melinda yanked him in for a hard kiss. She could hear Tony and Pepper whistling and ignored it. The kiss went on until they were both completely out of breath. 

"I can threaten him again. Or your boss, or anyone else." Phil offered. She kissed him again, a gentler thing.

"Just dance with me." Melinda kissed his nose.

"Yes, any. All of them. All the dancing ever." Phil promised.

They went out to the dance floor and stayed there.

Phil ignored the phone Tony was holding up, clearly taking video of them.

They moved around the dance floor, and rather forgot there were other people even in the room.

"Awww, Fitz they look so cute." Simmons said from where they were dancing.

"I didn't know Melinda could smile." Fitz whispered. "Do you think Mr. Stark will let me take toy surprises from his lab?"

Jemma kissed his cheek. "I think you'll get a t-shirt at the very least." 

The party ended with Melinda and Phil being kicked off the dance floor. Phil went over to where Tony and Pepper were standing. "Right I'm starving. All night diner for burgers?"

"I could eat." Tony agreed. Pepper nodded, she'd at least have a shake.

"Can we come along, the food was rather spare." Jemma smiled. "Plus Fitz wants to swoon over Tony some more."

"I'm not swooning." Fitz muttered.

"It's okay, I like swooning." Tony said.

"Miss Simmons, we'd love to have your company." Phil promised. "Melinda?"

"A burger sounds great."

The temperature had cooled and when they stepped outside Phil put his tux jacket over Melinda's shoulders and she snuggled in.

"I'm cold Tony." Pepper said.

"Yeah but you are stuck with me, he's still trying to impress." Tony kissed Pepper's cheek. "I'll put your seat warmer on for you."

"Romance is alive and well." Pepper's voice was drier than her martini's.

Melinda looked at Phil. "It does seem pretty alive to me."

"Ugh." All the others said.

Phil just kissed her hand and they all piled into Tony's limo to get a midnight snack.


	8. Nick Fury is Never a Phase

Nick stared down and Clint and Tashie. "No."

"But it's Saturday, we always go to the library on Saturdays." Clint smiled winningly, but it never broke Uncle Nice. "You promised Dad you would behave."

"Do you see me strapping you two into jet packs?"

"That was fun." Tashie said.

"It was," Nick agreed. "Not so fun when your dad and Skye took turns yelling at me for three hours. So, following the rules. We'll have a nice sit and watch some insipid, boring ass cartoons, and no one gets in shit for being a horrible baby sitter."

"If you take us to the library, you can meet Scary Melinda." Tashie said in a sing song voice. "You haven't yet."

"I know enough." Nick had tracked them on their first half dozen dates, performed the background check on her himself, and generally stepped back Phil's duties at work to give him time to date. "She's not good enough for you." No one would be good enough for his family.

But it turned out those were the wrong words and he had two tiny missiles launch at him. Clint and Tashie were fierce, their self defense classes apparently were going well and Tashie held a nerf gun to his head, while Clint had fingers over ribs ready to tickle.

"Take it back!" Both kids yelled.

"Never. Not going to be taken down by punk ass kids." Never mind that he had let them take him to the ground. Clint dug his fingers in, right at the weak spot and Tashie pulled the trigger and he was hit with 5 soft bullets in the face. "Good. Never make threats, only promises." he said, and he started to laugh as Clint's fingers got him good. "Fine! I take it back."

Clint stopped his tickling. "And you'll take us to the library?"

"Fine."

Natasha looked shifty. "And happy meals after?"

"That's on your father's no no list."

"You set fire to that." Clint reminded his uncle.

"So I did." Nick grinned. He got up and let the kids herd him to his SUV.

***************************

Nick took to the kids to the back of the library and leaned on the wall and glared at the parents and babysitters. He knew who 90% of them were, he checked out anyone who had regular contact with Clint and Tashie and no that didn't make him paranoid no matter what Phil said, that made him reasonable. Knowing that the garbage man on their route was having an affair, and that the new bag boy at the grocery store had a crush on Phil, hell everyone looked into that kind of shit.

"Right. Go socialize." Nick shooed Clint and Natasha towards the circle with the other kids. "Why has the circle all moved over?" The other rugrats weren't where they started. And two looked like they wanted to cry.

"You scare other kids remember Uncle Nick?" Clint said. "Remember when you came with the cookies because Daddy couldn't make parent helper day, and the kids hid under the table?"

"I thought that was a game." Nick frowned at the other children and one whimpered.

"Go visit Scary Melinda. The code for the door is -"

"I know how to break into a damn office Tashie. Go pretend to be normal." He gently pushed her to the circle. He looked at the parents who had all also moved a little down the wall. He shook his head. "Bloody suburbans." He may have deliberately flared his coat as he walked away. He heard his kids giggle as some of the other people quietly freaked out.

Nick decided to play nice and knocked as he broke into the offices. Melinda's desk was at the back and he went over. "Ms. May."

She looked up at him. "Mr. Fury."

Nick sat across from her and steepled his fingers at his mouth and just gave her his most intimidating glare. She just crossed her arms and glared back.

Neither moved.

45 minutes later Clint and Tashie broke into the office to collect Uncle Nick and see if Scary Melinda wanted to come for the contraband happy meals.

They found the two just staring at each other. They stood beside the desk. "Tashie, did they glare so much they froze?"

Tashie reached over and poked Uncle Nick who didn't flinch. She did the same to Scary Melinda who also didn't move. "I think so." She nodded. "Maybe your robot theory is right."

"But I thought we agreed that Uncle Nick managed to override his programming and grow a heart. Did he factory reset? Should we call Uncle Tony to fix him?" Clint was starting to get worried. "And I decided I don't want Scary Melinda to be a robot. Daddy can't marry a robot, I had Skye look the rules up. Robots are a no go." Clint looked ready to panic.

Tashie didn't like when the adults worried Clint. She stomped her foot. "Stop right now." Her lip wobbled a little too. "You two are the wrong scary right now."

Melinda's face immediately softened. "I'm sorry sweeties." She pushed her chair back and slid down to hug the kids. "I'm sorry. Not a robot, I promise." She ignored that Clint had looked up marriage. "Just seemed like he was trying to get me to pass some sort of test. I don't like failing." She kissed Clint's head. "Did you like Jemma's story today?"

"It was pretty cool." Clint said.

"I picked it out for her to read." Melinda whispered. Clint snuggled in. He then glared at Uncle Nick. "Don't be mean to our Melinda. You were on our side, you helped make the plans, why are you being mean now?"

Nick ignored the last part. He had wanted his friend to have fun, and sure Tony had said she was perfect, but he had been watching their dates and wasn't sure Melinda was in this, the same way Phil was. "I'm sure your Dad has talked to you about keeping people." He focused on that part.

"Skye worked out, and Melinda is great, and he kept you, so Dad can't say too much." Tashie argued. Clint nodded. She continued. "Big people keep people all the time, Auntie Pep Pep kept Uncle Tony until he got his head of his ass and realized he wanted to keep her too. And...And..." Tashie blanked on another example.

"Westley kept Buttercup." Clint suggested.

"Fairy tales kid."

"Melinda and Daddy are our fairy tale!" Tashie yelled. "Daddy is going to live happily ever after." 

Nick freaked out when he realized Tashie was trying not to cry, and failing. Tashie never cried. He held out his hands and she climbed into his lap, for once looking like a five year old. Clint kept Melinda in a death grip. Nick rubbed her back and hummed a little. The song he only ever sang for her, not that he sang, no one could ever prove it. "I just don't want the three of you getting hurt if it doesn't work out." Nick said. "You three are on the list of people I'd take a bullet for. You are the only three on that list.  And this is all moving fast. Your dad knew your mom for three years before he asked her out."

"We know, he's told us their once upon a time." Clint said. 

"And it didn't have a so happy ever after." Nick said kindly. "Don't want your dad to have another rotten ending." He kissed Tashie's head and Melinda was surprised the girl rarely allowed kisses. "But I need to chill. Your father has suggested I might have some control issues."

"Uncle Tony said he hasn't fixed that part of your programming no matter how hard he tried." Clint said.

"Yeah well, your Uncle Tony is part of the reason I have a healthy dose of paranoia these days." Nick grumbled. He looked at Tashie and wiped her tears away. "Promise little spider, I'll be better behaved. Heck I'll even not spy on their dates anymore."

Tashie nodded and held out her hand for Clint who pried himself away from Melinda. "You two go pick out your books, your Uncle Nick will be along in a second."

"Will you come for happy meals with us Scary Melinda?" Clint asked. "Only you can't tell Daddy."

Melinda smiled a little, sure that Phil would clue in where the cheap toy came from. "Only if you get apple slices instead of fries."

Clint nodded and the two went to pick out books.

Nick opened his mouth and just shut it when Melinda loomed over his chair. "No. No, you don't get to give me a shovel talk. Already gotten a couple and after this bullshit, you lost that privilege in my eyes." She moved within a couple inches of his face. "You made my little girl cry."

"Your little girl?" 

"Shut up." Melinda reached into his coat and found a hidden knife and pressed it to his ribs. "You upset Tashie and Clint with your posturing, which you might be a badass, but I doubt you are usually ass at least not to them. And as they said you were all up in the weird phase plans before. So what changed?"

"The art gallery." 

"The one we went to on our fifth date?"

"You stared at a painting and said you hadn't ever seen anything so lovely in person before." Nick met her glare for glare. "He said I have. And you didn't notice he was looking at you. And the look he had, that's a special look. And I ain't seen it on your face. So maybe you are having fun, and you like the kids, but excuse me for trying to protect them from someone who's not in it the way they are."

Melinda nodded and put Fury's knife back. She stepped away. "I carry a purple lollipop all the time in my purse. There is a death paperclip in the pants I wear every single day, painted red by Tashie so no one would tell there was blood on it. I have a Captain America trading card sitting at home to give Phil at the right time. Just because I don't smile with my heart on my sleeve where anyone could see it doesn't matter because it isn't mine anyways, it is theirs. You remind those kids they can't keep people, well fuck you, because I am keeping all three of them and if you don't like it, tough cookies eat my cooties."

She said the line that she got from Clint with the most serious face he had ever seen. "Want a job?"

"No."

"You bust my ass to Phil about the happy meals, and I'll make your life hell." 

"You bust my kids's hearts again, I'll send you to hell."

"Deal." Nick grinned, it had made new employees cry. She just looked at him. "I like you."

"I don't like you."

"I'll grow on you."

"We'll see." She gestured for Nick to head out first and he swung his coat. "Remind me to introduce you to my friend Captain Hill, I bet you two would have oodles to talk about."

Nick blinked. "No, Hill's still pissed at me for a slight incident a couple years ago. We're good hating each other from a distance."

"You're the asshole in leather she shot in the ass."

"She said she wouldn't talk about that."

Melinda smiled. "Does Phil know about this?"

"Shit." Fury muttered. He picked up the kids as they barreled towards them and hurried everyone to the nearest happy meals to be found.

***************************

"Nick, what's this email I got from the golf course?" Phil looked at his inbox. "And the music hall. And a church for their basement?"

"Oh. I booked you all the decent reception venues around here that have a room size that would fit your number of wedding attendees. It's for 18 months for now, plenty of time to narrow it down." 

"What wedding Nick?"

"Yours. If you don't marry that woman by then, I'm firing your ass." Nick hung up the phone and looked at Stark who had his feet up on Nick's desk. "Now what should their wedding colours be?"

"It can't be black?" Tony asked confused.

"I have a mood board on Pinterest, let's go over it." Nick pulled up the webpage.

Tony thought that was the most terrifying sentence he had ever heard.


	9. Phase 6 - (Maria Hill Gets In On This Phase Thing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you know my writing, you know that in a domestic fic, a glitter sign made with love has to appear. and the World Championships of Wushu is a thing, I'm bending it to my will a little bit.

"Frick Frack Paddy Whack, I am out of shape." Melinda muttered. "Need to stop the oreos with the kids." 

"You just put five of my men on their asses and killed two practice dummies. I wish I was that out of shape." Maria grumbled. One of her men was crying on the ground in pain. "Oh Melinda up will you, walk it off." Maria stepped over him. "Also, frick frack paddy whack?"

Melinda shrugged and stretched out. "Can't swear around the kids and some creative things come out." She did a few deep bends. "I'm not ready."

"Yes you are." Maria handed her a bottle of water. "You've been training every morning for what 2 hours?"

Melinda smiled. "Well not every morning." 

Maria shuddered. "See your boyfriend in Cap boxers, not happening again."

"I like them." Melinda smiled. "I think they're sexy."

Maria just gave her a look. "Have you told him."

"No."

"Why not, this is important to you!" Maria got ready to be pissed. "Do you think it wouldn't be important to him?"

"It would be, but..." Melinda shrugged. "I don't think I'll do well. And I still love it, but there are lots out there younger than me. I don't want them to travel all that way and then be disappointed at my showing."

"So, you balance it out with sneaky shit." Maria hugged her. "You know I'm coming to Chicago with you right?"

"You don't have to."

Maria just pinched Melinda. "I have my ticket and I plan to scowl quite fiercely at all your competition."

"Still not sure how I made nationals, it was hard this year."

"You'll be amazing. But you currently smell so go hit the shower." Maria pushed Melinda towards the door.

***********************

Maria was in what she called her Melinda May outfit - all black, bad ass boots and even more bad ass shades. She knocked hard on the door and began to tap her foot when no one answered right away. There was a car in the driveway and she could hear voices. She knocked again. "Hello!" She called out. "I know you are there."

"We don't open the door to strangers." Sky called out. "And I'm calling the cops if you don't leave in 30 seconds."

"I am a cop." Maria held up her badge to the spy hole. "Captain Maria Hill and I need to talk to Phil Coulson."

"He's at work, go bug him there."

"But he'll be home soon he has a date with Melinda in 2 hours." 

"Wait." The door cracked open and the girl said  _Tashie no_. "Are you Maria from the pictures - the one in the pink sparkly wig?"

"Oh god, she showed you those photos?" Maria groaned.

"You are Scary Melinda's BFF." Clint also peeked around the door. "Hullo."

"Hi." She looked down at them. "Can I come in now?"

"Yes." The twins said.

"No!" Skye yelled. "Not until I check you out with Nick."

"Tell him Maria said hi and wants to know if he has a scar on his ass from the buck shot I put in it." Maria smiled.

"Okay, that works are confirmation." No one would randomly talk about Nick Fury's ass. "Can I get you juice?"

"We have red and purple boxes." Clint offered. "It's snack time. Tashie beat me on the jungle gym again."

"I like red." Maria took off her sunglasses. "Melinda's been lying to all of you and I'm here to fix it."

Tashie's eyes widen. "I'll call a family meeting." She ran for Skye's phone.

Clint held out his arm like Pepper had taught him. Maria leaned down to be escorted to the juice boxes.

An hour later Phil, Tony, and Pepper were sitting at the dining room table with Maria, Skye and the kids. Nick was teleconferencing in.

Maria realized as a unit, this group was a tad intimidating. "Right so um, hi."

"Hey." Tony said. "So are you like Melinda's us?"

"I don't think anyone has a parallel to you." Maria said.

"Look, I'm unparalleled." Tony grinned.

"Yes, sweetie you are very special." Pepper patted his head. "Now, what do we need to do?" Pepper always had a practical streak.

"Melinda's been keeping secrets. Not bad ones, but you know secrets."

Phil looked at Maria. "I don't want you telling us stuff that will upset her. She can tell us when she's ready."

"But then it will be too late." Maria argued. "The competition is in three weeks."

"She has a conference about digital libraries." Phil replied.

"No, she doesn't." Nick chimed in through the speaker. "Real conference but she ain't on the books."

"She's going to be at the competition for the national team for the world Wushu championships."

"What's Wushu?" Clint asked his dad.

"Kung Fu, kid, like Bruce Lee stuff." Tony added in.

"She's trained since a child. There were always martial arts classes available for military kids and her uncle was a practitioner and she lived with him for a few years in her teens, when her father was doing some pentagon stuff." Maria smiled, proud of her friend. "She's really good. If she had switched to judo or karate, she could have made the olympic team, but has always loved Wushu. Two years ago she was an alternate for the U.S.A. team at World's. She came in 3rd in the Eastern conference 2 months ago."

"When her aunt was sick." Phil said. 

"She didn't want to mention it." Maria rolled her eyes. "Her dad always had work and missed a lot of her competitions, so she sort of stopped asking people to come. I always go, but I thought maybe you all might want to know." Maria smiled at them and had no way to process all the blank faces. Skye didn't even seem to be paying attention, busy typing on her phone, probably playing some idiotic game.

But the kids were quivering in their chairs.

"Right." Skye looked up. "We now have V.I.P. tickets to the event, under assumed names just in case. I have the full schedule here."

"They haven't actually released that yet." Maria said. The whole table gave her a look of pity.

"Your pilot is good to go Tony. We've got reservations for deep dish pizza and the aquarium because the one morning events don't start until 11." Skye looked at Tony. "You got a place in Chicago?"

Tony tilted his head upside down to Pepper. "Love, rent us all the top two floors of a nice hotel will you?"

"Tony, we don't need two floors, 3 suites will cover our needs just fine." Pepper typed into her phone for a couple minutes. "There taken care of."

"Phil, your schedule is cleared for five days, but I'm letting the paperwork build up on your desk." Nick said. "And someone bring me back a souvenir." He hung up the call.

"You are all sort of scary." Maria said.

"We can all wear matching Scary Melinda t-shirts and have signs right?" Clint asked. "She liked the glitter card, so we should make glitter signs so she knows we are there right?"

Tony leaned forward. "Promise you two, she'll know we are there."

"I've made a huge mistake." Maria looked panic.

"You have." Pepper agreed. "But you'll survive."

"Phil?" Maria asked. "Are you mad, she's not told you about this?"

"What?" Phil tuned back in. "Sorry. I was just thinking about sparring with her."

Maria squinted at him, wondering if that was innuendo. And decided she didn't want to know.

************************

Melinda sat on the plane with Maria. "I'm going to tell him. When were back."

"Oh?" Maria buried her face in her pretzel bag. Melinda could always tell when something was up.

"He bought me a notebook and pencil case with Captain Marvel on it for the trip." Melinda smiled. Both were in her carry on. "He was just so sweet. And I don't like lying to him."

"Good plan then." 

"What's up with you?" 

"Up? Nothing. Just wondering if I'll continue my streak of comforting one of the guys you beat up." Maria smiled and winked.

Melinda just rolled her eyes and decided to take a nap.

*************************

"I don't understand." Melinda said.

"We overbooked the rooms." The manager explained. "We are so sorry, but we do have a suite available for you, and we won't charge an additional price." He smiled at them and handed over the keys. "We thank you for your business."

Maria hustled Melinda away. They went to the elevator the man pointed at and realized they had to put their key in to even make it work. There were only two buttons. They pressed the top one and wooshed up high. They unlocked the room and began to laugh. It was bigger than Maria's apartment. "Jesus, they had to have made a mistake but we are not telling them." Melinda smiled. "Come on, I want a quick shower and then we can go over to register me."

They showered and walked to the convention centre and signed Melinda in. Melinda collected her packet and took a tour of the competition space, it was really standard for this sort of thing. The mats seemed quality and she nodded. She was terrified. They walked back to the hotel and decided to order room service. The elevator doors closed. "Wait, did I just see Stark?" Melinda hit the open button but they were already going up.

"Nah, lots of guys look the same in suits." Maria shrugged and tried not to sweat.

"No men look like Stark."

"Ooooh do we have a crush, does Phil know?" Maria teased.

"Phil is a thousand times hotter than Stark."

"God you are so sunk on the man." Maria hurried Melinda to the suite just to avoid any more almost run ins.

**************************

In the morning Melinda was up far too early and did some tai chi. It helped a little. But she knew something that would help more. She picked up her phone. "Hi Phil."

"Heyyyyy." Phil groaned. "What time is it?" He was whispering.

"6." Melinda sat on one of the sofas. "Why are you whispering."

"Tashie had a bad dream, they both crawled in with me. I can't feel my feet. Clint rolled onto them at some point."

Melinda smiled. "Phil...I wish you were here."

"Sometime, I'll take you on one of my jobs with Tony, we can see some European countryside while he does whatever it is he does."

"That would be nice." Melinda sighed. "You'd be proud of me for trying my best right? That's what you tell the kids."

"Stage fright?" Phil asked.

"Something like that."

"I am proud of you. Every day. You are incredible in so many ways Melinda May."

"Thank you."

"I'll see you soon okay?" 

"Yeah."

"Go get 'em, tiger." Phil hung up.

"Right." Melinda decided to go for a quick jog to shake off the nerves.

********************

Melinda came out of the change room in her clothes and her number pinned to her back. She was lead to the designated mat and quickly scanned the crowd. It was early in the day, but still a decent number of people were there. What was strange was there was a section in the first row of each of the bleachers blocked off as reserved, but it wasn't for coaches or press. She shrugged and looked for Maria who was in the bleachers nearest her and Maria waved. Right now Maria would be able to move around when Melinda did, but later it would get crowded and Maria would find a central seat and binoculars if need be.

Maria stood in her corner of the mat and waited. The ref came over and she and her opponent from California met in the middle and bowed. These early rounds you had to make an impression but make sure you didn't tire yourself out too much, it was a long couple days. Or at least it was if you were any good, for some they would be done today. She really didn't want to be done today. He was good, young and fast, but a little cocky. Melinda took her time keeping it defensive to learn his moves and then fired back with a flurry of hits and kicks that pushed him out of the regulation space. She beat him in twenty minutes. She bowed and focused again on the environment around her. And that is when she heard the screams. She turned her head quickly and realized that first row was full.

Maria looked happy at her win, but also nervous.

Melinda didn't even realize Pepper owned jeans. Tony was in a full suit whistling like crazy, Skye was clearly taking photos and videos of everything, and the kids were standing on the bench holding a big glitter sign that said

**GO MELINDA**

**SCARY MELINDA FOR THE WIN**

And Phil.

He was in that blue sweater she loved and clapping furiously, a giant smile on his face.

Melinda left the mat, she had 15 minutes before her next round and walked over to them. The kids scrambled off of the bench and ran right at her and she caught them.

"Ohmygodyouaresocool." Tashie screamed. "You kicked his booty and didn't even break a sweat and we made you a sign. Do you like the sign? We actually made three, this is the first one."

Clint was squeezing her leg tight. "If anyone hurts you, you tell me and I'll throw a sticky frog at them. My aim is getting real good."

"I know it is sweetie. But no throwing sticky frogs. Some people will land hits and beat me."

"Nu-uh. No one can beat you." Tashie said with the conviction only a child can have for their hero.

"Kids let her breathe, she'll have to fight again soon." Phil came over with a water bottle. "Hi, so how about those digital libraries?"

"They are a valuable resource for any library that wants to stay current." Melinda looked at him. "How mad are you?"

"You have to go to New York Comic Con with me - in full cosplay and we'll call it even." he said. "And you can't complain when I am going through the memorabilia tables."

"Deal." 

Phil leaned over the kids and kissed her. "You amaze me." He whispered. "Go kick ass."

"Yes sir." Melinda gave him a salute and a quick hug to the kids and went to her match.

She lost two that day, but had enough points to make it to the next day. Tony wanted to take them all out to celebrate. "Tony, I'm still competing. I need a shower and a massage and to pass out." Melinda declined. Tony opened his mouth. "From Maria, she's been through this with me." 

Phil nodded and covered Tony's mouth. "The competition doesn't start tomorrow until 11 so we'll go to the aquarium in the morning to make sure you have peace. And then we'll see you there." 

They all went to their separate rooms. "Oh. This is why we got the mysterious upgrade." Melinda realized.

"How mad at me are you?" Maria asked.

Melinda pulled her into a hug. "Not even a little."

*************************

The next day Melinda fought hard and could hear all of them cheering her on in their matching black Team Melinda May t-shirts and in the end she came in tenth. She was pissed at herself. She had hoped to maybe make an alternate position again, but this woman out of Portland just destroyed her. Melinda went to the locker room and changed not even looking at her group, sure they were disappointed that they came all this way for that sort of placement.

She left the locker room and there they all were. And they lost it when they saw her. Melinda had to brace herself as they all surrounded her and hugged her and were shouting and gushing and Tashie was in Phil's arms and Clint in Skye's and he kept dropping his sing on her head and Melinda was sure glitter was raining all over her. It was overwhelming, she had never had this at a competition before. Phil kissed her. "I am so proud of you. We are all so proud of you."

"I came in tenth, not even an alternate for the team." Melinda reminded them.

"But you kicked so many booties and that means you are tenth best in the country and there have to be like a gajillion people in the country!" Clint said. "You didn't even need the death paperclip!"

Tashie leaned out of Phil's arms and squeezed Melinda's neck tight. "My superhero." She whispered before getting embarrassed and ducking back into her dad.

"Screw Phil, I'm putting you in charge of my security detail." Tony chimed in.

"I'm a librarian Stark."

"So you throw a book at them before kicking their ass." Tony shrugged. "We can celebrate now?"

Skye chimed in, "When I made that pizza reservation, I sort of reserved their private party space so we could all eat our weight in deep dish and shitty beer. I brought my fake i.d. the good one."

"I cannot condone a minor in my employment drinking." Phil said.

"I can." Tony offered.

"Great. AC I quit. Thanks for the job Tony." Phil just rolled his eyes but didn't fight it, he knew in reality Skye would have half a beer and switch to diet soda anyways.

"Scary Melinda, pizza?" Clint asked.

"I could eat my weight in pizza." Melinda agreed.

"Oh thank god, I want garlic bread." Maria said.

****************************

Four hours later, Clint was flat out asleep on the last piece of pizza in a pan and Tashie kept fighting it, and head butting Phil in her attempts to keep her head up.

Tony was just loose enough from the beer that he was serenading Pepper and Pepper was just loose enough from the wine that she let him. Skye was groaning from trying to eat her weight in pizza and Maria had disappeared earlier saying California needed some bruises kissed and to not wait up.

And Phil just kept staring at Melinda like she was everything right with the world. She didn't mention the sauce on his jaw. Tony paid the bill and they all stumbled up, thankful the hotel was close and then even more thankful that Tony had arranged a limo in front. Melinda carried Clint and Phil carried Tashie and Skye muttered about getting pepto and that she'd be up in a little while.

Phil opened the door to his suite and they stripped the kids to their underwear and used some baby wipes to get the sauce off of them. 

Clint had a plushie purple elephant and Tashie a black spider. She kissed both their heads and went out to the living room.

"They were so proud of you. Tashie wants you to teach her."

"I could give her some lessons." Melinda offered.

"She'd like that." Phil cupped her face. "I'm proud of you too. You were just beautiful, and deadly, and fierce, and just blew me away."

"I think I'm done competing. Tenth is a good number to go out on. And frankly getting up that early to train is exhausting. Especially when some mornings there is a rather attractive man next to me." Melinda snuggled into a hug with him. "It meant so much to have all of you there."

"Melinda May, we're always going to be there." Phil said quietly. "If that is perhaps something that you would like."

Melinda squeezed him tighter. "That is something I would very much like."

They stayed like that for a while until Clint stumbled out. "Daddy I need to pee."

Phil helped him to the bathroom and then when they came out. "Melinda, come to bed with Tashie and me, pleeeeeease?"

"Melinda has her own room Clint."

"But she'll keep the monsters away." Clint pouted and yawned.

Melinda smiled. "I will."

"You don't have to -"

"I want to." Melinda kissed him. "Goodnight my Phil."

"Goodnight my warrior." Phil went to the room that was just across from the kids.

Melinda stripped to her underwear and crawled into the bed. Tashie immediately rolled and held her tight and Clint climbed in on the other side. Melinda smoothed his hair and kissed his head.

"Melinda?"

"Yes sweetie?"

Clint yawned again. "Next family vacation can we go to Disney?"

Melinda couldn't answer for a minute. "Yeah, I think maybe I can convince your dad of that."

"Cool." Clint snuggled in and fell asleep.

In the morning Phil managed to get a photo of the three of them, Tashie tucked under Melinda's arm, and Clint sprawled over his feet.

That new family photo was going on his desk. Right next to one Skye got of Melinda standing in perfect formation over a crumpled opponent.


	10. Phase 7

"I don't hear chopping." Melinda was stirring the onions around on the pan. "I'll need the peppers soon."

"Well don't be distracting." Phil answered back, but he resumed the chopping he had been given.

"How am I distracting?" Melinda looked over her shoulder at him.

"You are wearing shorts." Phil smiled a little. "I like you in shorts."

"It's June, shorts are kind of expected." Melinda came over and got the peppers and added them to the pan. 

"They are purple." Phil smiled. "Don't think I haven't seen the bits of purple that have been added to your wardrobe."

Melinda just shrugged. "How late can you stay tonight?" 

"All night. Tony and Pepper kidnapped the kids and I figure me staying out means that Skye can have Mike over while she has the house to herself." Phil grimaced. "I gave her some condoms and a safe sex lecture. She was not impressed."

"She's twenty, I'm pretty sure she knows about sex Phil."

"Well, this is the first guy she's gone out with more than thrice since she's been with us, I want her to be safe." Phil twirled his wine glass around. "Didn't even get to intimidate him, she timed his arrival for after I was due here."

Melinda turned the stove on low. "Okay one, you said thrice and that was cute. Two, she's a smart girl, she'll take care of herself. And three, you sent Nick over to torture them didn't you?" She stole his glass and took a sip.

"Maybe?" Phil asked. "Too much?"

"No, about right." Melinda put some rice on. "Did you bring work out clothes? In the morning we can spar."

"I did. Or we could sleep in, beds are awfully nice. Cozy, blankets, cuddles, those are good things."

"Phil, you need to stay sharp for the field." Melinda said. "I want you in peak shape, so you come home to all of us." She smiled at him a little, but he wasn't looking at her. "Phil?"

"I was going to tell you after dinner."

"Tell me what?"

"It's not that important." Phil looked at her. "I just..." He ran a hand over his head. "I have to make a choice at work."

Melinda turned off the stove. "We'll order pizza later." She poured them both more wine and lead them to the couch. "Talk."

Phil looked at his hands. "Nick came to see me a few days ago. There had been a project he and I had been working on quietly. Very quietly. And it came to pass." Phil looked so sad. "There were senior staff who were selling client information, things that were supposed to be tightly secured. Several are now facing prosecution, and a couple a wee bit of a hospital stay. Tony and I were less than impressed that Pepper's safety might have been compromised."

Melinda leaned over and kissed him. "I'm sorry." She knew how much Phil believed in loyalty.

"Thanks. The problem is that this has created gaps. Nick wants me to go back in the field more, until we have some people trained, promoted." Phil looked at her. "He suggested I might be needed in Europe for a few months to clean the mess up."

Melinda stayed quiet. She just reached out and held his hand.

"I've always done what Nick asked. Since high school. He was a senior and I was a freshman and he stopped people from beating me up and I've been his man ever since. I joined the Army because he was there and when he left to start his own security company I followed him. Stayed single like him, followed his orders, we built the company. Him with all his fingers in the pies, me out in the field. And it grew and I was in the field less, even less when I started dating my wife. I missed the kids being born because he absolutely needed me in Budapest. And Stark came along and hired us and managing him became a full time job."

"You've only know Stark five years?" Melinda was surprised she was sure that they had been friends for decades.

"He became my problem when Audrey was six months pregnant, and properly interjected himself into my life with the twins were 2 months old. He's the one who made me see that I needed to step back and be with the kids. Never tell him that." Phil added quickly.

"Your secret is safe."

"It is so hard to say no to Nick, and I know the company needs me." Phil sounded rough and Melinda climbed into his lap.

"What do you need?"

"Tashie has nightmares, says they are about me covered in blood and her not getting there in time to rescue me." Phil was almost shaking. "She's five, she shouldn't worry about rescuing me. And Clint tries not to cry when I go on a business trip. They sleep in my bed when I get home and search for new injuries and scars. Skye does this firm chin thing when I go and says she'll keep my kids safe. I don't tell her I worry about her almost as much, that she's one of my kids too. Every time I leave, there is the real threat I'm not coming back the same, that maybe I'm not coming back. And I am getting tired of that." Phil looked at her. "I don't want to miss recitals and competitions and playing on the jungle gym. I don't want to miss them." He took a breath. "And I don't want to miss what you and I are building. I don't want you thinking here's another person who isn't going to be there. I love you Ms Melinda May."

Melinda leaned her forehead against his. "I love you too, my Phil." They stayed like that quiet for a time.

"I need to go talk to Nick." Phil said. "It might take a while." 

"Take my keys so you can let yourself in." Melinda kissed his forehead. "Come back here after."

"Okay." He held her tight for another minute. He gave her one last kiss and headed out.

Melinda ordered in some pizza so there would be food waiting and tried to read, had a shower, and eventually just crawled into bed.

It was 2am when she heard the rustle of clothes. "Shhh, go back to sleep." Phil whispered as he crawled into the bed. Melinda snuggled into him a little bit.

"How'd it go?"

"I'll tell you in the morning. Sleep darling." Phil kissed her head.

Melinda woke up at 7 and looked at Phil who had rolled away while they slept. And when he twitched and she saw his whole face, she began to pummel him awake. "Ow! Pointy fists of doom." He groaned.

"You have a black eye!" she swatted him some more.

"So you want to add to the bruises?" Phil winced a little. "And if the eye freaks you out, you probably don't want to look at the ribs."

Melinda immediately yanked up his undershirt and saw the growing bruises. She growled a little, ready to murder Nick.

"If it helps, I tazed him." Phil offered. He sat up against the headboard.

"Really?"

"Really." Phil yawned and put on his most pitiful face. "Coffee?"

"Explanation." she replied.

"It will make more sense if I have coffee." Phil added in a little whimper.

Melinda pinched him but climbed out of bed to get coffee going. Phil had a quick shower and padded out in sweats and a clean t-shirt. He clutched the coffee close. "Best girlfriend ever."

"Why did he beat you up?"

"Technically we beat each other up." Phil shrugged but that hurt a little. "We started talking and then the negotiations sort of broke down and we decided to solve our problems by sparring. 2 out of 3." Phil smiled a little. "Old bastard still has some moves."

Melinda tapped her fingers on the table. "And what would you tell your children about solving problems with violence?"

"Fight dirty?" 

"Hence the tazing."

"Hence the tazing." Phil agreed. "I was going to win." He took a breath. "I had to win."

Melinda walked around the corner and cupped his face. "What did you win?"

"I am officially the Co-Directer of SHIELD International Security. I will take over the New York office while Nick goes to Europe and trains Victoria Hand to be in charge over there. The only field work I will do is acting as Tony's security when he goes on a business trip and level 5 emergencies - which basically means end of the world."

"Phil..." Melinda couldn't think of what to say.

"I'll have a lot more paperwork and meetings, and I'm going to be home late a lot but likely I'll be coming home every night 48 weeks of the years instead of 38." Phil looked at her. "I'm staying home."

"That was worth tazing Nick for." Melinda agreed. She gave him a gentle kiss, realizing there was a cut on his lip. "I bet you are sore."

"So sore, bastard remembered my weak spots." Phil grumbled.

"Well why don't I give you a thorough check over in the shower then?" Melinda asked.

"You should do that." Phil nodded seriously. "I'm feeling a little woozy, need help to make sure I don't fall."

Melinda snorted a little bit but smiled. "Will you miss it?"

"I would miss my family more." Phil answered immediately. "You know, the kids want you to come for a sleepover. I...ummmm...there is an empty drawer in my bureau and a few spare hangers in my closet."

"A sleepover next weekend sounds good." Melinda said. She pulled him into a gentle hug. "I am so proud of you Phil."

"Yeah, pretty proud of myself too." Phil admitted. 

"Come on, let's go make you feel nice."

"You always make me feel nice."

Melinda pulled her top off and winked before she started to walk to the bathroom.

Screw the field, he had all the adventure he needed right here.

 


	11. Hospitals are Never a Part of Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> situation circumstances exaggerated for purposes of the story. Nurses are generally awesome.

Melinda was sure this meeting was important. To her boss. She was trying to stay awake, Jemma was sketching pictures for the children's book she wanted to write about science, and at least two other people were clearly thinking about lunch. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and ignored it. After a minute it went off again and again. 

And again.

She pulled it out of her pocket and her boss sneered a little. "Ms May, I am sure that your personal life is important, but this is a meeting. Perhaps your boyfriend can call back."

Melinda didn't think before answering, "My boyfriend is in Washington meeting with the Vice President about improved training for the Secret Service." Everyone at the table went quiet.

"That guy who comes in? The one who looks like an accountant?" One of them asked.

"Haven't you noticed he's armed at story time?" Jemma asked them all. "He warned me about it when he first started bringing the kids. Quite a lovely man really, just don't ask him how many ways you can kill someone with any random object - he has very specific answers." jemma smiled at Melinda. "Is it him?"

"No."

Their boss threw up his hands. "This isn't a quilting circle."

"I'm leaving." Melinda said after looking at the texts.

"You are not going for a booty call, or you'll be suspended." 

Melinda glared at him. "I just received the family code for emergency all hands on deck, and the address I was sent was for the hospital. So I am leaving now and if you get in my way, well I'll be kind enough to drive your broken body to the hospital since it is where I am going."

"Sorry." The man said gruffly. "Of course, family emergency, go."

Melinda nodded and walked out. She liked her work, and Jemma, but maybe it was time to find a new job. She was getting sick of that man, and didn't want Phil to have to cover up a murder.

Melinda drove calmly, but her knuckles were white on the steering wheel. She pulled into the lot and headed towards the emergency room, hoping to catch sight of Skye, since she had been the one to text. She couldn't see the girl but she could certainly hear her. She followed Skye's shouts around the corner, where she saw Skye facing off with a woman in business casual and two nurses.

"Stop blocking me!" Skye yelled. "I have every right to be in there with Tashie and you have to tell me what is going. Also I asked for security because hello, the five year old boy that was with me HAS GONE MISSING. Why are you doing nothing when you should be helping me?"

"Skye." Melinda kept her voice calm as she came over. "Skye, you called me."

Skye turned around and her makeup was streaked from crying. "Melinda help. Please get them to listen to me. I have power of medical attorney, and attorney, and guardian rights and every paperwork imaginable because it is AC and he never doesn't dot an i, and they aren't telling me anything."

"What happened?"

"I don't know, I was the volunteer at the school today and it was recess and I was with Clint and a couple other kids at the sandbox and there were shouts and screaming. There was a crowd and before I know it, this woman is loading my Tashie onto a fucking ambulance and getting in with her. She didn't even wait for me and Clint. We tailed it here in the car and then they just kept telling me to have a seat and wouldn't even let me see Tashie and no matter that I showed them stuff, they kept saying they needed her father, but you know AC is in D.C. and Pepper and Tony have a board meeting and Nick is in London and no one is listening to me and Mr. Coulson is going to be mad because I broke one of my babies and the other went missing and I can't go back to living in my van, I've gotten used to showers and not peeing in an alley." Skye fell into a complete panic attack.

Melinda guided her over to a chair and sat her down, and pushed her head between her knees. "Breathe sweetie, just breathe. You did everything right. You aren't in trouble. Shhh, sweetie." Melinda rubbed her back. "You are okay."

"I lost Clint." Skye was gasping.

Melinda looked around and saw the open air vent above the nurses station. "Skye, he's in with Tashie." Security finally showed up. "Hello boys, does one of you have a multi-tool on you?" They were utterly confused but one guy pulled out his key chain. Melinda looked to the nurse. "What room is Natasha Coulson in?"

"Look, she's being well cared for, I can't just release -"

"Lady, right now there is a five year old who has been crawling through your air duct system to find his sister and he probably would have because he has a weirdly excellent sense of direction. But he's five and he's stuck. So I suggest you let this gentleman go and free my kid before he gets hurt."

"Room 106." She said to the security guard. The man went quickly down the hallway. "Now as I was saying we need her parent."

"And as I was saying, in the absence of AC, I am as good as. I have all the paperwork in the car!" Skye yelled, breath back now that she knew Clint was likely okay.

"How about you go get it Skye?" Skye was ready to protest not wanting to leave for a second. "When you bring it back all these people will owe you a very large apology and you can be as smug and petty with said apology as you want." Melinda gave her a reassuring hug and kiss. "Don't worry sweetie, I have this."

"Thanks Scary Melinda." Skye bolted down the hallway.

"Who are you?" Melinda asked the woman in business casual.

"I'm Grace Johnson, the vice president of the school. I was the one to call the ambulance and ride along with the girl."

"Tashie."

"Yes, she had been misbehaving as usual and tried climbing a tree, which the students know is wrong and had a bad fall."

"Tashie doesn't misbehave." Melinda said. "And if you are the vice principal then you know the guardianship arrangements in place that allow Skye, their nanny, to have authority over the children and what happens to them when Phil is gone."

The vice principal sniffed. "I am aware of the unique...relationships involved." She looked at the nurses. "Old style cover up, clearly she had the children young, but they are pretending they aren't hers. And if she is willing to be like that, then I don't think that she deserves any respect at all."

In that moment Melinda, when one of the nurses snorted, Melinda learned that you can get angry enough to actually see red. She could hear Skye running back, sweet Skye, who loved those kids, who loved Phil, and was fucking family. And Melinda lost it. "Excuse me?" Her voice was thick, the words sharp enough that the security guard who had stayed reached for his taser.

"What? I am protecting those children." The woman drew herself up. "Trash."

"Skye is not trash. She is smarter than you and just getting smarter. She is a wonderful young woman who loves those children. The children of Phil and Audrey Coulson. Audrey, the woman who birthed them, who died when they were one. Skye is their nanny, and a surrogate parent when Phil is away on business. And all of you are violating her rights and the rights of those kids by denying Skye access and information. Trust me when I say Phil will be told about this and all three of you are going to be losing your jobs. And if you don't apologize sincerely and truly to Skye and tells us everything, you might also be losing a couple limbs. You are fucking with my family and my kids and you really don't want to do that."

"Who do you think you are?" The one nurse blustered.

"I'm their fucking mom, so you better make peace with your maker because your ass if mine if you don't tell us what happened to our mother fucker kid." Melinda said, voice utterly deadly.

"Wow." Skye said with awe. "Double M, you are everything I want to be when I grow up. Though I'll be rocking my own aesthetic." Skye handed her papers over to the nurse who looked them over quickly. Skye smiled when the woman blanched at the names on the forms. "Oh noticed that the witness was Tony Stark, guy who's the son of the woman whose name is on the side of the building? And Pepper, who I am pretty sure is on the hospital board?" Skye grinned a little before looking at Melinda. Skye immediately tried to copy the face of stone look Melinda was giving everyone.

"The apology now." Melinda said.

The three apologized, two were sincere, the vice principal less so. 

"The kids will not be returning to your school, and you best believe I am going to the principal and the superintendent to tell them what you've been like here." Melinda said. The woman finally paled and properly apologized to Skye.

"Yeah, so not accepted, any of you." Skye said. She saw the security guard coming out of a room, trying to pull Clint out, who was shouting about not leaving Tashie. "HEY!" Skye shouted.

Clint took one look over and saw Skye and Melinda. He bit the guard and punched in a vulnerable spot like Uncle Nick had taught him and bolted down the hall. "Skye! Mommy! Tashie has a cast and cuts on her face and they shaved some of her hair. And she's scared and they wouldn't let me stay." He was sobbing as he launched himself and Melinda caught him easily. "Mommy, Tashie is hurt, make it better." 

"I will sweetie." Melinda started walking towards the room and Skye was right behind her.

"You can't just -" The one nurse began. Skye looked like she tripped over her own feet but somehow it was the nurse who ended up on the ground.

"Whoops." Skye kept moving with Melinda and Clint. Clint stuck out his tongue at everyone.

"Next time step on their knee cap as you walk over them, step with the toe at a 20 degree angle and push in and you can dislocate the knee cap."

"See, that's why you are family." Skye grinned. They went in and Skye wept a little at the sight of Tashie on the bed. "Oh baby, I am so sorry."

Tashie looked at them. "Not your fault Skye. Mama they gave me a pink cast. I told them I wanted black, and they gave me pink." Tashie began to cry. 

Melinda sat on the edge of the bed and put Clint down who immediately crawled in with Tashie and hugged her not broken arm. "We can make it purple or black Tashie and cover it in skull stickers." Clint said. He was crying too, a little bit. Melinda looked over and Skye's chin was wobbling too. Melinda looked at the empty bed and hit the locks and moved in so it was next to Tashie's. 

"Climb up Skye." Melinda said and Skye climbed on so she was lying next to Tashie and giving the little girl kisses.

"Mama?" Tashie sobbed.

"I'm standing guard sweetie." Melinda said. "I'm taking care of you. And Clint is right, we'll paint it black."

"I climbed the tree I wasn't supposed to, but the frisbee got stuck and mean V.P. wouldn't get it, said we needed to learn to throw better. And Claire started to cry because she brought it from home, so I got it. Only I slipped at fell." 

"You are a brave girl and a good friend." Melinda told her.

"Yeah." Clint agreed. "Tashie that tree is bigger than our playset at home, so cool you climbed it and got the toy." He poked her a little. "I think the shaved bit of your head looks kind of cool."

"Totally bad ass." Skye agreed. "I can shave my head a bit too, if you want." Tashie giggled a little.

Melinda leaned over the bed a little and touched Tashie's foot, gave it a gentle squeeze. Tashie smiled a little at her. "Can you tell us a story Mama?"

"Of course darling." Melinda thought about it. "How about the story of the Boudica - one woman who terrified the whole of the Roman Army?"

"That sounds cool." Tashie nodded.

"Did she have arrows?" Clint asked.

"She did, and swords, and axes, and all sorts of stuff." Melinda weaved them a story until all three of her charges had fallen asleep, exhausted from the emotions. She quietly left the room and leaned against the wall just outside the door and started to cry a little.

She could hear heavy footsteps and quickly dried her eyes, ready to keep anyone but a doctor away from the room. And saw Phil. "How'd you get here so fast?"

"It's been three hours since Skye called and I had a private plane." Phil pulled her in a tight hug. Melinda let a few more tears fall. "I'm here, I'm here." He repeated. It took a couple minutes but she composed herself. "Sitrep, Melinda." Phil's brain immediately fell into work mode, to stop him from panicking. 

Melinda explained everything, pleased when Phil's eyes darkened at the treatment Skye had received. "I am siccing Pepper on all these people."

"Good." Melinda replied, Pepper was by far the scariest of them all.

Phil was looking at the door, anxious to go in. "Phil."

"What?" Phil looked at Melinda. "Is there something you didn't tell me?"

"No, she really is going to be fine. But..."

"But what?" Phil smoothed her hair.

"They were calling me mom Phil. I didn't say anything, because they were scared and traumatized, but they were calling me mom Phil. You might want to talk to them about that." Melinda didn't add how much she liked them calling her mom.

Phil nodded and kissed her head. "I will. How about you go wash your face, and see about snacks and maybe coffee?"

Melinda nodded, a little walk would be good.

Phil went into the room and saw his three kids on the beds, Clint and Skye curled protectively around his battered Tashie. He moved closer and Skye's eyes opened. "I'm sorry AC."

Phil climbed onto the bed behind her, to join the family pile. "You did everything right Skye. I've never trusted you more. Melinda said you were quite fierce."

"Tashie got hurt on my watch, and Clint went missing." Skye had her hand over Clint's where he was squeezing Tashie's arm. Phil reached over Skye and added his.

"Skye, I trust you completely with them." Phil swore. "Always and forever. We aren't getting rid of you."

Skye nodded a little. Clint and Tashie slowly woke up at the sound of Phil's voice.

"Where's Mommy, Dad?" Clint asked.

"Just getting us some snacks." Phil promised. He looked at Tashie. "Hello little spider."

"It's pink."

"We'll fix it." He promised her. "And perhaps we don't climb such big trees?"

Tashie nodded. "Mama didn't cuddle." Phil was a little surprised at that. "She stood guard, the people who work here are mean. Bet she had her hand on the death paperclip the whole time." Tashie added. "Mama almost as good at guard as you Dad."

Clint nodded. "Security guys seemed scared of her. And mean V.P. looked liked she wanted to pee."

"Melinda may have suggested you are putting the kids in a different school next year after how they talked to me, AC."

"I am fine with that." Phil agreed. "I'll be having several meetings about how you were treated Skye."

"Are you gonna make people cry Daddy?" 

"Yes. I am."

"Neat." Clint and Tashie said.

Melinda came back with a tray of snacks and drinks and put it on the window ledge. "Well don't you all look cozy."

"Mommy come up beside me. With Daddy here now, don't have to stand so much guard." Clint held out a hand.

"Clint -" Melinda looked at Phil.

"Yeah, Mommy climb on up." Phil said, giving her a steady look. He nodded a bit and Melinda nodded back.

She climbed up beside Clint and was sort of surprised all of them fit on two rather crappy hospital beds, but they were all squeezed in tight. She added her hand to the pile and Phil linked his fingers with hers.

"Dad are you going to give Mama the ring you bought her now?" Tashie asked. All the adults sort of froze. "Was that wrong? We all picked it out, and you said you wanted the right time and Uncle Tony said the right time is whenever, you were just being chicken. And it is a cool ring." Tashie finished.

"It is a pretty cool ring AC." Skye agreed.

Clint nodded. "It is, it's super awesome. And shiny."

Melinda looked at Phil who was turning rather red. "How shiny is it?" she asked.

"Pretty shiny." Phil said after a minute. He pulled his hand away and reached into his pocket. Skye snatched it out of his hand and gave it to Tashie, who passed it to Clint, who gave it to Melinda, a little chain of their family. Melinda flicked open the box and saw the black gold ring inset with deep purple amethysts and diamonds. "Ms. Melinda May, please be ours." Phil had something better planned but that was all he managed to say.

"Yes." She agreed simply and put the ring on.

The twins cheered and wiggled until Tashie winced and realized wiggling hurt. 

Tony and Pepper walked in along with a doctor while everyone was still babbling excitedly, Phil and Melinda just staring at each other across the kids.

"We missed it!" Tony pouted. "All that dithering and then we miss it."

"You can plan Phil a bachelor party." Pepper said, like those weren't the most horrifying words ever. She pulled out her phone and snapped a quick five photos of the giant cuddle pile.

The doctor looked at them all. "You can take your daughter home, she just needs lots of rest and love at the moment. Though it doesn't look like love is a problem."

Tony snorted a little. "Yeah not really a big concern here doc."

"We got a mommy Uncle Tony." Clint said. 

"I see that." Tony grinned at Phil. "How do you feel about -"

"No."

"But -"

"No."

"Come on."

"Boys, how about you plan that after we get Tashie home and out of this miserable hospital?" Melinda suggested.

An orderly brought in a wheelchair and Tashie scowled at it. "Mama will carry me."

Melinda nodded. "I'll carry you as far as you need sweetie."

Everyone heard a sniffle and turned to look at Tony who was wiping away a legit tear. "Oh shut up I have feelings."

"That was your fifth." Pepper agreed and kissed him. "I'll mark it on the calendar."

Melinda ignored them and carefully picked up her little girl. "Here you go Tashie."

"Can I have ice cream?" Tashie whispered.

"Sure." Melinda agreed.

"Sweet. But Clint too, right?" 

"Clint too. Ice cream for everyone when we get home."

Phil smiled a little. She called it home.

 


	12. Phase 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the Family

It was family game night and in a move that surprised everyone Pepper had actually won the pizza dare. She and Tony were there for game night because once the kids were in bed they were going to be doing some wedding planning. However Pepper, Phil, Melinda, and Skye had walked away when Tony brought out the 'improved' Operation game.

"What, it's so much cooler now! If you bang a wall along with a shock it shoots red dye!" Tony looked so proud of himself and Tashie and Clint were already putting on the scrubs and goggles Tony had also provided. 

"This is awesome Uncle Tony." Clint had crawled onto the table.

"I know right?" Tony put his own goggles on. "We will need some towels."

"I'll get them." Skye said and hurried to get the cloths they put down for paint time.

The others escaped to the kitchen. "You couldn't stop him?" Phil asked Pepper as he poured some more wine.

"I could have." Pepper smiled.

"Look at the blood gush!" Tashie yelled.

Skye came in a streak of red on her shirt. "You'll need to repaint AC."

Melinda refilled his glass that had become magically empty. "We were planning that anyways." she offered.

"I made sure that it was all washable." Pepper promised. She smiled when Phil seemed to slump in relief.

"Virginia, do you and Tony have plans to go to Malibu in say two weeks?" Melinda asked out of nowhere.

Pepper looked at her confused. "No."

"Could you?"

Phil began to rub Melinda's back, feeling the tension. "What's going on Melinda?"

"My parents are coming to town and are looking forward to meeting you and the kids and were hoping that they could meet your whole family as well."

Phil paused. "I have an aunt and cousin in Arkansas that I haven't spoken to in ten years? I suppose I could call them."

But Pepper understood. "And you don't think your parents should meet Tony."

"I think that it could be awkward." Melinda admitted. "My father is a bird colonel and Tony has made his opinions of the military and current conflicts very clear in the press."

"We could have Rhodey here, he tends to help smooth things over." Phil offered. "Your father might even know Colonel Rhodes."

"Probably."

Skye frowned. "Do you think so little of Tony?"

"No." Melinda sighed a little. "But I've heard my dad mutter about that damn Stark boy a few times, and I don't want their to be a scuffle. This is one of Tony's safe spots away from judging eyes and I don't want to ruin that."

Pepper smiled. "Tony can take care of himself." She smiled, "And I take care of him too. We'll have a lovely barbeque and everyone will focus on the wedding."

There were cheers from the dining room table. "Neat Uncle Tony, the heart is actually beating."

Phil groaned. "Last time he picks the game."

"Let's talk wedding colours." Skye suggested.

"Purple." Everyone said after a minute.

Tashie cheered and they all took a chance and peeked into the dining room. There were three very gleeful and messy people. 

"I'll go fill the kiddie pool." Phil said, "Easiest way to hose you all off." Clint and Tashie whooped and ran for the backyard and Tony continued to sit. "That includes you young man." Phil said sternly. Tony got up and followed the kids outside and Phil put the sprinkler on and let them run through it, the night still warm. The sight of Tony running through the sprinkler went very quickly viral on YouTube.

*****************************

"Are you sure I should be here with you Melinda?" Phil asked standing in the airport.

"Yes. Better to throw them at you right away." Melinda said. "Don't want my father thinking I'm trying to hide you. Also, I'll be spending the next few nights at my place."

Phil looked at her. "There isn't much left at your house." Melinda had been moving in with the family after the fifth time Clint asked why Mommy wasn't there when he woke up.

"There's the beds and I have some clothes." Melinda kissed him. "It's just for a few nights. Eases the pressure of this first meeting. You don't have to make small talk over wheaties."

"I've met in-laws before you know." Phil smiled. "Audrey's parents were very skeptical of me. Wonder what she was doing with a 'suit'."

"They are nice." Melinda had been introduced to them over Skype when the kids had talked with them, and knew that in August the kids were going to spend two weeks with them. They had been very gracious to Melinda.

"This will be fine."

"I've never actually introduced a boy to them." Melinda looked at the arrivals board.

Phil took a moment to process the information. "Uh...you are in your forties."

"And I didn't really date until after my MLS, I was always traveling or studying." Melinda shrugged. "And I've dated, had relationships, but never quite progressed to meet the family sort of stage."

"Well that doesn't make me nervous." Phil muttered.

Melinda heard a sharp whistle and looked over. "Dad." Her voice was a mix of pride and love and a hint of sadness.

"Melinda." The man approached. Phil was a little relieved that he was in a short sleeved button down and slacks, he had almost expected him to be in full uniform. Phil noticed Melinda straighten her perfect posture and waited for her to throw a salute, but she didn't.

"Hi Dad." They stood looking at each other for a moment before a small woman came up beside them.

"Oh for the love the Cubs, people hug at airports, you two might try it." She nudged the man and he enveloped Melinda in a big hug. Melinda then hugged the woman and gave her a kiss.

"Mom, Dad, this is Phil Coulson my fiance." Melinda held out a hand and Phil grabbed. "Phil these are my parents, Liu and Grace."

Phil held out his free hand, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Melinda has told me a lot about you."

Liu shook his hand and nodded but didn't say anything. Grace came up and hugged him. "Are you treating our girl right?"

"I think so ma'am."

Liu just made a grumpy noise. "We'll see."

Grace rolled her eyes and smiled. "Where are the kids?"

"They had kids day at the rec centre that they wanted to go to." Phil explained. "But they are looking forward to meeting you."

Melinda laughed a little.

"And what's that about Melly?" Liu asked.

"Uh...well, Clint used to think I was a robot, so he once asked if my mother was a commodore 64."

Phil burst out laughing. "Oh god, you didn't tell me that one."

Grace laughed. "Oh I bet he's a pip. I have gifts for them."

"Mom, no spoiling."

"Oh, it's cute that you think you can stop me from spoiling your children." Grace patted her child's arm. "I want my grandchildren Melinda Mailie May."

"You'll meet them tomorrow." Melinda promised. "We're going to spend all day at Phil's and there will be a barbeque with everyone in the evening. Maria will be there and a couple of my work friends. Along with Phil's family." Melinda started to steer them towards the exit.

"Will we be meeting your parents Phillip?" Liu asked.

"No, my father died when I was a teen, and my mother a couple years ago." Phil explained.

"My condolences."

"Thank you. They would have loved Melinda." Phil said easily. He missed them every day, but the sting passed. They got to Phil's SUV and Phil reached for the bags, but Liu just gave him a look and loaded them in. Phil nodded and drove them to Melinda's. He gave Melinda a kiss and said goodbye and that he was looking forward to their day together tomorrow.

Melinda took her parents into the house. "Where's all your stuff, sweetie?" Her mom asked looking around.

"I've been moving into Phil's. Should have this place on the market in another month."

"Isn't it a little soon?" Liu asked. "The wedding is still being planned for Christmas isn't it?"

"Yes dad, but the kids kept wondering why I wasn't there all the time, and we all talked about it and decided I might as well move in now."

"What if it doesn't work out? You don't want to be out a place Melinda."

"Dad." Melinda was annoyed. "It's going to work out."

"You've been dating less than a year."

"It will be a year next month." Melinda reminded him. "We aren't kids jumping in too quick. He's fifty, I'm 42."

"I had some people do some research on him." Liu said.

Melinda smiled a little. "Of course you did Dad." She nudged him a little. "Impressed?"

Liu harumphed. "He had a very promising army career, should have stuck with it."

"Dad, he's the co-director of one of the largest international security firms in the world. I don't think that is a bad thing, and I know SHIELD has several government contracts." Melinda chided. "He's a good man."

"Of course he is dear, like you would settle for someone boring." Grace agreed. She was already poking in the fridge, to see what she could cook tonight. "Hmmm, I see we just so happen to have the ingredients in for me to make your grandmother's dumplings."

"Oh, really? Huh, I wonder how that happened?" Melinda tried to look innocent. Grace started to pull foods out of the fridge. "You and your dad go play some chess."

"Thank you Mom." Melinda kissed her mom. "I'm glad you are here."

"Me too." Grace agreed. "Go play."

Melinda went to the dining room, where she had just happened to have an old scarred chess board set up. She and her father sat down and she pulled out an beat up journal and set up the pieces as they had been during their last game. They stayed like that for hours, barely talking absorbed in the game, the thing that they had always had together, from when he taught her when she was 10.

"Checkmate." He said pleased. Melinda conceded. Liu smiled at his girl. He really loved these moments. He knew he had missed so much of her life and that caused some distance between them. He wished he could explain how much she mattered to him. "Will you teach those children when they are old enough?"

"Was thinking next year. Tashie should love it, she's a planner." Melinda reset the pieces. "We have family game night every Friday night."

"You are missing that tonight. You want to go?" He asked.

"No, Dad. I want time with you and Mom, just us." Melinda said. 

He nodded. "And how goes the job?" He made his first move.

"I'm quietly looking for another." Melinda said. "My boss is..."

"A jackass?"

"Hmmm." Melinda made her move. "Tony keeps trying to hire me. I keep saying no. Phil has suggested I could be an asset in SHIELD's archives, but I'd rather stick with a library."

"Tony?"

"Tony Stark. I've told you he's Phil's best friend." 

Liu moved his knight. "Is he as pathetic as he seems in all his press statements?"

"Dad." Melinda's voice was sharp. "Tony is a good man and a friend, and he's Phil family. So you are going to be nice tomorrow."

"He left soldiers hanging, way he shut down his weapons division so quickly." Liu glared at her.

"He did what was right after he came home from being captured. It wasn't the army that found him you know. It was Phil."

"I read the reports." Liu looked at his daughter. "I'll play nice. For you."

"Colonel Rhodes will be there, you can talk with him." Melinda promised. 

"Dinner you two, and no you can't eat over the board. Come in here." Grace called.

They both sighed at the interruption to their game, but went for dinner. They ate and had tea and chatted, and it was a nice night.

*****************************

"Grace, stop fussing." Liu said in the morning.

"I want to make a good impression." Grace adjusting her shirt again.

"They are five and you have a bag of toys, I think it will be fine." Liu didn't mention that maybe he had been fussing too.

"Ready to go?" Melinda called up to them. "Skye is going to have brunch ready in 20 and waffles are first come first serve. And Clint can pack them away."

They came downstairs, with the bag of gifts and Melinda sighed. "All that?"

"It's one bag, be grateful it isn't three." Grace answered. 

Melinda nodded. They went to the car and drove over to Phil's.

"This is nice." Grace said, looking around the cottage style house with a bright red door and two trikes in the driveway. "You haven't moved in a lot of your furniture, dear, are you not making changes?"

"Some of my pieces will move in, and we're repainting a lot of the rooms." Melinda said. "I've never cared what stuff looks like so long as it is durable, you know that." 

Grace nodded, her daughter was like her father that way. She saw some curtains twitch. "We've been spotted. Troops deploy."

They got out of the car and started to walk up the porch and the door swung open. Tashie and Clint were out of the step, Tashie in her Melinda black clothes and Clint actually free of band aids or stains. They both were trying to stand super tall and straight and held tight salutes.

"Welcome to our home Colonel and Mrs. May." Tashie shouted.

"We cleaned. You can even do a quarter check on our beds." Clint added. He then paused. "Aww, bed, no. Do Tashie's first and give me a sec. A monster may have jumped on it a couple of times."

Grace held a hand to her heart. "I'm dead. Melinda, I am seriously dying here, they are just..."

Melinda smiled at the kids, so proud of them. "I know, Mom."

Grace knelt in front of them. "Hello sweet ones, I'm Grace, Melinda's Mom. You can call me Grace or Granny Grace or what ever you like. I have some gifts for you." She held up the bag. Clint and Tashie ignored it though their bodies quivered a little at the thought of gifts. "Melinda?" Grace asked a little concerned she had been too forward.

"They won't break until the salute is returned by the Colonel or they are told to be at ease." Melinda explained.

Liu raised an eyebrow. "Impressive discipline." He snapped at quick salute to the kids. "At ease, children."

They both sighed in relief and moved to hug Melinda. "We did good Mommy right?"

"You did well Clint. And nice boots Tashie." 

"They are like yours Mama. Auntie Pep Pep had to order them special, don't make combat boots in my size." Tashie's tone made it clear what they thought about that.

"Mama?" Liu asked.

Clint looked up at him. "You're tall. Uncle Tony is short and Daddy isn't giant. What do we call you?"

"Colonel." Liu suggested.

"Dad." Melinda poked him a little bit.

"Okay Colonel Grandpa." Clint said easily. "And I dunno, she's Mommy. Before we called her Scary Melinda because the rest of the kids were scared of her, but Tashie said calling her Scary Mommy sounded like the sort of thing teachers don't understand. Teachers find us 'vexing.' But Mommy says they just can't handle our awesome." Clint gave everyone a blinding smile.

"Uncle Tony became a large donor at a private school, so they would take us for next year. One that thinks vexing is an asset." Tashie said. "Can we look at the gifts now Mama?" Tashie asked.

"Yes sweetie. Let's go in and Granny Grace can show you what she brought." Melinda said. The kids cheered and tugged Grace into the house. 

Grace put the bag on the table and opened it. "Now some of this is old, but I think you'll like it." Grace pulled out a set of jacks, some marbles, a few dolls, and a plain brown box. There were also some books and then a couple new action figures some candy. A lot of candy. Grace ignored her daughter's glare. "Now these older things, they were Melinda's favourites growing up." 

"Mama's?" Tashie gasped and leaned forward. 

"Yes I saved them, every move, every new place, I kept this one box." Grace smiled fondly. Clint immediately poked at the jacks and Tashie the box. "That's Melinda's first chess board, that her father taught her on. She'll teach you one day."

"Today?" Tashie asked.

"It's a strategy game, Natasha, you wouldn't understand it yet." Liu explained. "How about you play with the dolls for now?"

Tashie opened her mouth but quickly closed it when her father glared at her. "Liu, Grace, welcome. Skye just finished the waffles, why don't we sit for brunch?"

"Waffles!" Clint said happily. He bounced the ball and grabbed five jacks and put them in his pocket before running for the table.

Grace stared baffled. "He's good with his hands." Tashie explained. She sounded a little down.

"And you are good with languages." Melinda said. "Skye is good with hacking, and I'm good at Wushu and your father is good at paperwork. Everyone has skills."

"Thank you Mama."

"Waffles, don't let Clint steal the plate." Tashie ran after them. Melinda heard a tiny sniff and looked down. "Mom?"

"It's just. They really are your family aren't they?" Grace stood up and gave Melinda a death hug. "You have children."

"I do. But be careful, Nick and Maria have both been teaching them to pickpocket, so keep an eye on your wallets." Melinda warned. She looked at her father. "Dad?"

Liu shrugged. "Reserving judgement." 

Of course he was. Melinda steered them to the dining room where Skye was settling the twins in. "Hi." She waved at them. "You're Double M's parents? Cool. I'm Skye the nanny. I'm also a conspiracy nut, so you know military industrial complex, evils of war, what is our government hiding, blah blah blah, you ever been to Roswell?" Skye smiled.

Liu sighed. "Aliens aren't real."

"Sure they aren't." Skye grinned. "Have a waffle." Which had been made on the alien waffle maker.

"If you pour strawberry syrup, it can look like you are eating brains." Clint explained. "It's fun. I like to give them mustaches."

"Yup, that boy is going to kill me." Grace muttered. "Can't handle the cute Melinda Mailie May, I just can't."

Brunch passed easily and then they all went outside to play, or really let the kids play and let the adults drink a couple mimosas and get to know each other. In the early afternoon, guests started arriving, Maria greeting Liu and Grace like family, Jemma and Fitz nervous about being at an adult party (forgetting they were in fact adults themselves). Nick was in London and couldn't make it, but Colonel Rhodes arrived and it seemed that he and Liu had met before and they were happily chatting.

"I am here, the party, such as this sad shin dig is, may begin." Tony called from the side fence.

"Uncle Tony!" The kids ran over and hugged him like they hadn't seen him less than a week ago. They gave Pepper kisses and then pulled them over. "Uncle Tony, Auntie Pep Pep, this is Granny Grace and Colonel Grandpa." Tashie said. "This is Uncle Tony and Auntie Pep Pep." Tashie smiled. "I did introductions." She was pleased with such a grown up action.

"Hi, Tony Stark. I see where May gets her looks from." Tony kissed Grace's hand.

"She looks like her uncle Huan." Liu said.

"Well I'm sure he was simply fabulous then. Hello, you look vaguely familiar."

"I was at the senate hearing about your reclamation of all your weaponry." Liu explained.

"Ahhhh, you are one of those sorts." Tony smiled. "Right then, I'll be over by the punch bowl." He smiled and walked away.

"Don't you like Uncle Tony, Colonel Grandpa?" Clint asked. "He builds cool stuff, and he tells funny knock knock jokes, and he always lets you have the purple skittles."

"I just doubt we have a lot in common." Liu said to Clint.

"You have us." Tashie answered. "And Mama likes Uncle Tony." Tashie looked at Melinda.

"I do, he's trouble, and a dork, but he's good."

"Please don't let him here you call him a dork, he'll try to be cool again and that never goes well." Pepper shuddered thinking of the snowboarding incident. "It is so nice to meet your Colonel and Mrs. May, I hope that while you are here this weekend, you'll have time to look over the wedding plans and maybe add some input?" 

"Oh that would be lovely." Grace said happily. "I was a little worried that it might be a little bit..."

"You thought I'd be at a courthouse and get a meal at a buffet didn't you Mom?"

"To be fair, that's what I thought you'd do." Maria answered. She passed Melinda another drink. "And now we are actually looking at wedding dresses."

Grace quivered a little. "I'll take you to what I'm looking at Mom, on Monday."

"Yes!" Grace shouted before she composed herself. Liu decided to run to where the men were at the grill. Dealing with Stark had to be better than wedding dresses.

Clint started to babble about the purple suit he would get and Tashie talked about her white dress with black trim and buttons and Grace just absorbed it all. She was so happy for her little girl finding all these wonderful people who just seemed to fit her so well. The children opened her up and she was shining like the sun and oh when she looked over at her man, that smile. Grace had had that smile for Liu for 44 years. She looked at the small group and realized that Tashie had slid away. She looked around and couldn't see her. "Where's Tashie gone?"

"Oh don't worry Mrs May, Tashie sometimes needs just a couple of minutes of quiet. She'll go to her room, and be back soon enough. Right now I want you to tell us story of Double M being a kid." Skye looked at her hopefully.

Clint gasped and climbed into Grace's lap. "Did Mommy get in trouble, did you ever think she was a robot, did she climb things, did she -"

Grace hugged him. "Would you like to know about the time she took over the radio at the base we were stationed at?"

Melinda groaned as everyone in the group said yes.

***************************

It was a good party, and everyone was gorging themselves on food, and chatting. Liu had been avoiding talking to Tony and felt the man a little showy for such a small family party, but he also wasn't quite like the man he had been brash and antagonistic at that hearing, or had been in all those videos. And Colonel Rhodes was a fine man, so there had to be something to the guy. But his phone began beeping and Liu rolled his eyes, it was dinner. He shouldn't be pulling it out.

"Tony." Pepper's voice was concerned, and Melinda's man looked worried as well. So did the Colonel.

"It's fine." Tony said easily. He was looking at his phone and breathing slowly. "It just took a jump, but all running smoothly. Sir Good Box is working good." Tony put the phone away and tried to start his conversation up again, and his wife hugged him close.

Clint tugged on Liu's sleeve. "Sir Good Box is his thing."

"What thing?" Liu asked.

"Bad men kidnapped Uncle Tony and hurt him. This was just after Mama had us. Daddy got Uncle Tony back. But the bad guys hurt Uncle Tony a lot and almost made his heart go boom. It runs funny now, so Uncle Tony has a thingie in his chest that makes his heart work okay."

"A pacemaker?"

Clint smiled. "Yeah, Sir Good Box. He already wore one out, because he does things he isn't supposed to, so he designed a new one and now it works great. He makes them for people and they don't cost nothing, because everyone should have a happy heartbeat." 

"That's not in his file." Liu said.

"Yeah well, me and Tony are good at making sure his files say what we want them to say, and Rhodey turns a blind eye." Skye explained. "He doesn't want pity. And he knows soldiers who have been through worse. He's trying to do the right thing. The weapons he designed - they weren't the right thing."

Liu looked over at Tony and gave him a polite nod. If the man survived torture during his capture, he deserved respect. Tony gave him a polite nod back. This really wasn't a bad bunch for his daughter to have fallen in with. "I'll be back in a minute." Liu said quietly to Grace. He went into the house and stopped in the bathroom and just took a couple minutes. He wasn't used to this much casual family time, what regular families did. As he grew older he regretted more and more how much he had missed with his daughter. He took a breath and left the bathroom, determined not to miss anymore. He head a noise in the dining room and peered in. Natasha had Melinda's chess board out and a Starkpad showing her how to do the pieces and was placing them very carefully. He watched her finish up and then just stare at the board.

"The guys in front have to go first." she said to herself. "But how many?" she tapped the pad. "Who goes first in chess?" she asked it. A computer voice explained about the first pawn move. Tashie moved a black pawn.

"White always goes first." Liu explained.

"But black is cooler, black is Mama's colour." Tashie said.

"Is that why you wear all black, to match Melinda?" Liu asked, he moved a little more into the room.

"Yup, did it before she and Daddy were dating, it was when we had the phases." Tashie said. She moved a white piece and then her black piece copied it. "Is that right?"

Liu sat down and moved the pawns back. He then moved a white pawn. "Now move whichever of your pawns you want. First time you can move it two spots and they always go in a straight line."

"Foot soldiers?"

"Of a sort." He moved another piece. "And phases?"

"When she was Scary Melinda Clint and I came up with a plan to get her to date Daddy, everyone in the family helped. We're very smart. And now she's mama." Tashie picked up a rook. "What's this guy do?"

Liu explained the pieces simply and was pleased at how she was clearly processing the information. "How were you so sure she was right for your family?"

"She was scary, like Daddy can be, but smiled a little and you knew she meant it, and she didn't treat us like kids, but like people. That's what everyone in the family does. Plus she's pretty and smells like licorice. Daddy likes licorice."

"Sound reasoning."

"I plan, Clint acts. We're a team." Tashie moved a piece. "Plus she let us check out a big kid book. Gotta like someone who does that."

Liu smiled. "You do." He moved a piece.

"Don't do that." Tashie frowned. "That seems too easy, you left a person open. I can't learn if you don't play proper."

Liu raised a brow. "Melinda used to say similar."

"I'm like Mama?" Tashie beamed.

"You are."

"You should tell Mama you love her more. She isn't sure, I don't think." Tashie said. "I heard her and Daddy talking, she wanted you to like us, and was scared you wouldn't, or that she wouldn't measure up. Holding a glass to a door doesn't work so good like it does in cartoons."

"You shouldn't spy." Liu admonished gently. "And I love my daughter a great deal, more than anything else."

"I love you too Dad." Melinda said from the door.

Liu jumped a little and then stared at Tashie. "Did you just set me up?"

"Phase 9 is making the whole family get along so that Phase 10 wedding day is perfect. Bye Colonel Grandpa." Tashie hopped down from her chair and skipped away.

"She's devious. I like her." Liu decided.

"I'm glad." Melinda sat in Tashie's seat. "Karaoke is starting back there, Mom is promising to break out some Elvis."

"I'm good in here." Liu said. He moved a piece.

"Sorry old man, you gotta join in." Melinda moved a piece as well. "I'll sing a duet with you, if you want. Something cheesy."

Liu sighed and stood up. "You know, I think you should bring Phil and the kids to us for Thanksgiving this year. Been a long time since we did one up proper."

"Really, Dad?" Melinda stood as well.

"I'm not going to miss a chance to spoil my grandkids." Liu said. "I love you Melly."

Melinda went over and hugged him tight. "Thank you." She patted his shoulder. "Ten bucks says you can blow Tony's showboating out of the water. He always does Sinatra or AC/DC."

Liu snorted. "Like it can stand against my Johnny Cash."

"You know Maria always thought I wear black because of a goth phase that stuck, and I always pretended that." Melinda squeezed his hand. "But it was because you loved the man in black." 

Liu kissed her head. "Always knew you had good taste."

They went back outside to rejoin the party and Liu had no objections to Tashie wanting to be held, just like Grace was holding Clint.

Phil wrapped his arm around Melinda as Skye did a horrible Cyndi Lauper. "Good?"

"So very very good." Melinda agreed.

 


	13. Interlude (1st Day of School)

"I don't see why we have to go." Tashie said as she looked at the uniform. "We're smart already. And Skye can teach us."

"Skye has to go to classes too Tashie, last year of university is a big deal." Phil explained as he brushed her hair. "And you are absolutely the smartest. But learning needs to keep happening."

"Grade 1 seems stupid. We'll already know the stuff and then people say we have an attitude." Tashie pouted.

"I promise, this school is different. Tony and Pepper and I have done very careful research and they seem to do well with extraordinary students."

"You told them that Clint needs double gym right? Because he gets too crazy without it and -"

"Tashie," Phil spun her around carefully. "Tashie, we're all going in together okay, to meet the Principal and we can tell him whatever he needs to know. Remember all those tests you two took last week, it will help them understand how to help you."

"I'm not scared."

"I know." Phil pulled his girl in for a tight hug and rocked her a little bit. "I have a magic talisman for you if it will help."

"Magics not real Daddy." Tashie said seriously.

"Oh I don't know, I think there are tiny pockets of it out there." He pulled a small box out and opened it. Inside was a simple thin leather strip with a bit of red rock dangling on the end, rough at one end smooth and shiny on the other. "When your mom was little she liked to explore caves and one time she got lost and it took a while for people to find her. She said that she found this rock and it made her feel better. She could never explain why, but it just felt right. So she held it tight and whenever she was worried or scared, she'd rub the tip of it. That's why it is so shiny and smooth at the end there, she wore it down a bit." Phil put it over Tashie's head. "This will help you stay strong little spider."

Tashie looked at the rock and touched it. "Thank you, Daddy." she paused. "Clint has magic too right?"

"I gave him my Captain America shield coin." Phil promised her. 

"Wow."

"I know." Phil agreed. "Put your clothes on sweetie." He gave her a push and went downstairs where Clint was already waiting. Melinda and Skye were trying to get him to not bounce quite so much.

"I'm gonna make friends and trade snacks and kick booty at gym and I get do times tables up to four x six, that's 24 and I bet I get a sticker for that, and and and and," Melinda caught Clint midbounce. 

"And you will remember to breathe." Melinda said. "Slow yourself, it will be okay."

"I'm not scared." Clint said quickly, touching the magic coin his dad had given him that was in his pocket.

"I know, baby." Melinda agreed, knowing the manic energy was hiding fear. "You and Tashie are very brave. I wish I was as brave as you."

"Huh?" Clint asked.

"Well, I start my new job today."

"You started last week." Clint answered. "You've been out everyday from 8:45 to 12:15."

"That was about setting up my office, and preparing. Today the real job starts."

"But you are taking us to new school first right?" Clint gave full sad eyes. 

"Of course I am." Melinda's smile held secrets. "Come on. Shoes." She tossed him down and went over and kissed Phil. "How's Tashie?"

"Quieter fear, but it is there." Phil played with the ends of Melinda's hair. "Are you sure about you?"

"Yeah, I am." was all she said.

It took the three adults 20 minutes to get the two children in the car and then the drive was another 30 minutes. The school was set on beautiful grounds and the two kids gasped when they saw the jungle gym and playground. "I'm going to climb that forever." Clint said in awe.

Melinda and Phil exchanged a smile as Skye pointed out other things to the kids. They all piled out of the S.U.V. Tashie grabbed Melinda's hand, and Clint reached for his dad. Skye stood behind them as a protective wall. They knocked on the door and a woman with a mohawk answered. "Hello I'm Ms. Munro, you must be the Coulson family. Principal Xavier is waiting for you." She lead them through the building that was really a converted mansion. She talked about classes and lunch times, and sports.

Everyone pretended to pay attention, but the whole family was a little nervous. She knocked on a door and then told them she was expected elsewhere. 

They went in and Phil reached out. "Principal Xavier a pleasure to meet you again."

"It's Charles, please." He spun his chair around. "Ms. May a delight of course."

"Sir." Melinda replied.

"Sick wheels, dude." Skye grinned. "Like the flames."

"Yes well, the art class last year stole the wheelchair and made it festive and I promised it would look the same for the first day of school." He looked at Tashie and Clint who had death grips on their parents. "Hello, do you remember meeting me?"

Clint huffed. "It was three weeks ago when you and the cranky guy dropped off all the test papers."

"Mr. Logan, your gym teacher, is only mostly cranky." Charles smiled. The children relaxed just a little bit. "Now, here we do things a little differently and tailor what classes you go to based on needs. For example Clint you'll be studying maths at a grade three level, and for you Natasha we've hired a tutor to help you with Russian and also learn German if you are interested."

"That could be neat." She frowned. "Are you trying to keep me and Clint apart?" Her frown deepened. "Others have done it, said we are holy hell together."

"Not at all. You will have several classes together as well as lunch and recess. Schedules are fluid here, but learning is rigorous."

"How much did Uncle Tony pay you to let us in?" Clint asked.

Charles laughed. "All our playground and sports equipment is brand new. But after meeting you two, and looking at your test scores, I am very happy to have you here. I think you will be a good fit. Now classes don't start for another 30 minutes, you two are our only new students this year."

"That doesn't make sense." Tashie said. "Always new pre-k, students."

"True and there are here. I mean to say you are our only transfers." Charles explained.

"Oh." Tashie nodded. "I suppose we could look around." Charles lead them down to the grade one room, where the kids would start the day and it was full of natural light and books, and was just a welcoming space. 

"I like it Tashie." Clint whispered. "It might not suck boogers here."

All the adults made sure not to smile.

"Let me show you the library, I think you two will like it." Charles suggested. As they walked it was Melinda's turn to grip Phil's hand tight.

The library was beautiful and two stories and the kids squealed. "Jemma!" They cheered and ran to her.

"Hullo you two." Jemma hunkered down and hugged them. "How is the tour going?"

"You work here now?" Clint asked. 

"I do, Melinda suggested I might be a good fit here."

"I think you and the new head librarian will be an excellent fit." Charles said. "Bringing the two of you in together will be excellent."

"Why would Mama think you would be a good fit here?"

"Because I'm hoping to be a good fit here." Melinda answered Tashie.

The kids turned and stared at her. 

Melinda walked over to the door at the side of the room that had the simple plaque:

_Head Librarian_

_Melinda May_

"This is my new job." Melinda explained to them.

"But you hate kids Mommy." Clint said.

Skye couldn't stop laughing.

"I don't hate them, I just find them problematic. That is why Jemma is here. But this library needed better organizing and curating and a push into the 21st Century that is sorely lacked." Melinda explained. "Auntie Pep Pep had been less than impressed with it, considering the overall quality of the school." Melinda smiled. "So I'm going to make it better. My kids will have the best library possible."

"Mama." Tashie breathed out. She came over and hugged her. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Melinda laughed a little. "Maybe because I was a little scared of starting my first new day too."

"Did Daddy give you a magic thing like he gave us?" Clint asked. 

"He did." Melinda agreed.

"What is it?" Clint pressed.

Skye smirked a little. She had heard noises from their room early this morning and knew exactly how Phil had helped Melinda's nerves. But AC was glaring at her so she kept her mouth shut.

"Your father gave me this set of bracelets." Melinda said.

"How is that magic?" Clint asked. He poked at them. 

"Black for Tashie, Purple for you, Blue for Skye, and the silver bit holding them together is him. He gave me the whole family to keep close all day long. Plenty of magic in that." she explained.

Skye sniffled and elbowed Phil. "AC."

He hugged her. "Family, you are in it. Deal."

"I think perhaps it is time for the children to go back to their class, it is almost time for school to start." Charles suggested.

"I'll be in here all day today." Melinda promised them. "You two behave and have fun and in a pinch ask for me. But I have faith my two amazing warriors will be great." She gave them a hug and pushed them towards Phil and Skye, who walked them back to their class while Charles returned to his office.

Phil helped the kids meet their teacher Miss Pryde, who was cheerful but not cloying and they all talked and then Phil and Skye made their exit. Skye drove because Phil was a little choked up having dropped his family off. They drove into the city and Skye parked at SHIELD and hugged him. "They'll do great AC. And we'll pick them all up today at 4:00 on the dot, right?"

"Of course." Phil wiped his eyes. He had already told his staff about his short hours today and what would happen if they were messed with. "And Tony and Pepper will bring take out at five thirty to hear about everything."

"That's right. Now I have to go to campus and buy books. You go have coffee and a donut and save the world to distract yourself."

"Yes ma'am." Phil smiled. "We'll be lost without you, when you leave."

Skye snorted. "Like I'm going anywhere. When I graduate you'll just hire me for SHIELD and I'll keep living above your garage."

Phil nodded, it was true.

"Okay then. Go Team Coulson." Skye punched his shoulder and left the garage for the subway.

Phil only checked the camera feeds at the school three times that morning.

***********************************

At 2:30, Ms Munro came to Melinda's office. "I'm really sorry to bother you, but Clint seems to have gone missing. Natasha said he's fine, but we rather prefer not to have missing children."

Melinda just nodded and grabbed the stick she had moved into her office. She poked her ceiling. "Time to go back, buddy."

"Awwww." Clint answered.

"No dice, kid. Go sing songs."

"Music class is boring." Clint complained. "There's no fun music."

Melinda just poked the ceiling again until they heard him moving. "You need to put better screws and safeties on on all the vents and ducts. We did warn you."

"So you did." Ms. Munro agreed. "They are doing well."

Melinda looked at her. "Of course they are. My kids are bad ass."

"We do prefer less...colourful language here."

"My kids are double live gonzo electric bugaloo cool."

"Okay that was disturbing coming from you. You can stick with bad ass."

"I thought so." Melinda agreed. 

*************************************

Phil and Skye picked them up and the kids were full of stories and pictures that had been drawn were placed on the fridge. Tony and Pepper brought far too many gifts to celebrate the first day of school and that night after tucking in the kids, Melinda and Phil had a drink.

"Regret the job change?"

Melinda thought about the space that needed some loving care, about being able to work with Jemma, who she had grown quite fond of, and of being near her kids.

"No, but if a kid colours in one of my books, I am dangling from the second floor."

Phil smiled. No kid was ever going to bring a book back late to Melinda.

Within a week the librarians had two names. Princess Jemma and Book Monster May. Both were very pleased with these names. 

The other first graders were insanely impressed that Clint and Tashie survived living with Book Monster May. It gave them excellent cred in the playground.


	14. interlude bachelor parties

"But whhhhhhyyyyyyyy?" Clint moaned. "Why why why why why why why?"

Phil hugged Clint. "Because these are parties for grown ups."

"I'm grown up! We turned 6 last month Dad." Clint protested. "Remember the party? You got to come."

"I remember." Phil agreed. 

"So I get to come to your party and Tashie gets to go to Mommy's." Clint nodded. "Because fair is fair right?"

"Sorry, buddy, but these are just for adults."

"Why?"

"Because that is traditional." Before Clint could ask why again, Phil quickly added. "Next weekend we'll go on a family adventure." he promised. "Plus Jemma and Leo are babysitting you two and that should be fun. I heard that they might be bringing some experiments."

Clint perked up a little. "Leo makes things go boom. Sometimes when he didn't mean to."

Well that wasn't concerning at all. "See, you'll be having fun too." Jemma and Leo had been invited to the parties but they weren't big partiers and offered to babysit so that Skye could go along. Phil gave Clint an extra cuddle. "Want to help me pick my clothes?"

"Okay." Clint followed Phil into the master bedroom where Tashie was sitting watching Melinda put on make up. "More eye stuff Mommy." Clint said as he climbed onto the bed.

"Yeah?" Melinda looked in the mirror at Clint.

"Sparkly stuff. Because you are going out to a party." Melinda nodded and found her sparkly eye shadow and began to put a little on.

"Mama?" 

"Yes Tashie?"

"Why did Skye go to the bank and get so many dollar bills?" Tashie asked.

Phil looked at his fiancee. "Yes, Melinda, why are there so many dollar bills?"

Melinda glared at him. "Because it makes tipping your waiter at a bar a little easier."

"Oh." Tashie shrugged.

Phil snorted a little. "Okay Clint, which tie?" He held up a couple options.

"That one." Clint pointed and Phil put it on the bed. "Where's Uncle Tony taking you Daddy?"

"I actually don't know." Phil said from inside his closet. "Sometimes it is better to not ask too many questions of your uncle."

"Bet you'll need a bunch of dollar bills too." Melinda snorted.

Phil just gave her his deadpan look. "We are not going to that sort of establishment." He winced at how stuffy he sounded.

"What sort stabment going to then?" Clint asked. He found Star Wars socks for his dad.

"Establishment." Phil corrected. "And we are going to a bar, that Uncle Tony found."

Melinda just snorted again. "Want a kiss before I put the lipstick on?"

"Yes please." Tashie blinked sweetly.

Melinda gave Tashie a soft kiss and then Clint hurried over and she gave him a kiss too. Phil stood there rocking on his heels, waiting for his turn. Melinda stood up and walked over to give Phil a very big kiss. "Enjoy all the lap dances the guys buy you." she whispered.

"No strippers, Rhodey promised to keep Tony on a leash." 

"He might have, but no one promised anything about Nick. And he got in this morning." Melinda laughed and Phil groaned and hung his head. She went back to the table to finish her make up.

"There this should work." Melinda said.

"Beautiful Mommy." Clint said. 

"Can I have a bit of lipstick?" Tashie asked.

Melinda pulled out a cherry lipsmacker from the drawer and passed it to Tashie who put it on very seriously and then giggled when she licked her lips. 

"Me too!" Clint cried and Melinda passed him root beer. The door bell rang and they all tromped downstairs. Jemma and Leo came with a big bag of supplies and Clint and Tashie were very intrigued.

Jemma smiled at Melinda. "Oh you look lovely!" Melinda endured the hug.

Leo gave a vague wave and started to show the kids what he brought.

"The back porch has an outdoor heater and has been cleared of the bit of snow that fell. Try to leave most of the mess outside?" Phil asked hopefully.

"Don't stand in the way of scientific exploration!" Leo yelled. The two little ones joined in the shouts.

"Your house will still be standing upon your return." Jemma promised. "Go look at naked people."

Clint's eyes widened. "You are going to look at naked people?" Phil got ready to say something, anything but Clint just shrugged. "Well you two see each other naked when you have those tickle fights in the shower in the morning, I guess comparing to other naked people is scientific."

Melinda looked at him in horror and Phil begged the floor to eat him alive.

"Clint, Skye said not to talk about their alone time." Tashie admonished. "Remember she said grown up tickle time is secret."

"Then why does Daddy say 'Yes right there' a lot." Clint looked at his dad. "Doesn't Mommy know your best tickle spots? Mine are my toes."

"So, shall we go outside and play with mentos in coke bottles?" Jemma said quickly and herded her charges away.

Phil collapsed onto the couch. "I'm building us an ensuite." He buried his face in his hands.

Melinda frowned. "Do I have your tickle spots wrong?" She laughed as Phil threw a pillow at her. "If we get home at roughly the same time, maybe I'll have to check again. For science."

"Go away." Phil groaned. "I'm going to hell."

Melinda heard Maria's car pull up. "Have fun at your party."

He waved her off to finish his emotional crisis in peace.

*****************************

 Melinda stared at their first stop. "Hill, what is this?"

"This Melinda is a tattoo parlour. An excellent one, well reviewed, and frankly the guy tattooing us is a fucking god." Maria looked quite pleased with herself. Skye was taking a million photos of Melinda's face.

"And why are we at a tattoo parlour?" Melinda looked like she was contemplating murder.

Maria reached into her pocket and pulled out an ancient mini recorder. She grinned as she hit play. " _Seriously Hill, you have to like promise me. I mean super serious promise me. No, listen to me, this is an absolutely giant promise thing."_

"Holy shit, double M, how drunk are you there?" Skye said in awe.

"This was during her master's so very." Maria hit play again. " _Right so if I am ever dumb enough to like fall in love and shit. And not like how I fell in love with those donuts, or Venice, but like super all the way in love, marry me and stick it out forever love."_ The was a pause and Melinda was crying in sincerity on the recording. " _Take me to a tattoo shop and say prove it. Make me get the guy's name, or something tattooed on me in a son of a bitch place. Because if I say fuck no, then we'll know it isn't real love and we can all move on_."

Maria pressed stop. "I have held onto that recording for 17 years." She took a bow.

"Jesus you guys do friendship hardcore." Skye was impressed.

"So, Melinda? I got you an appointment, what's the answer?" Maria looked at her.

Melinda just glared some more and stalked into the shop. She and Skye jolted to a stop at the man standing there. "Hello, I am Thor. Are you Melinda?" He held out a huge hand. 

"Can we kidnap him?" Skye asked. He laughed and the all watched his muscles ripple under his shirt.

Melinda collected herself and nodded. "I need a tattoo."

"Let us talk then." And he gestured to a desk and they went over to consult.

"She's really doing this."

"Of course she is," Maria said. "She is completely gone on him."

"What do you think Tony is doing to AC?"

"Something ridiculous I am sure." Hill answered. "Shit, she's going ribs for her first tattoo? That's going to hurt like hell."

"Yeah, bet AC is freaking out right now."

********************************

Phil looked around at the bar. Tony was holding his arms wide open. "Tell me I'm not amazing."

Phil looked at the walls. "Are those original Captain America propaganda posters?" He stared at the comic art.

"They are." Tony grinned. "Guy who owns this place is even more of a Captain America nut than you. This whole bar is modeled after the place that Cap and the Howling Commandos hung out in, in London, in the early comic books. 20 beers on tap, 30 whiskeys on the wall, comic books to read, did I do good or did I do good?"

Phil looked around at the dim lighting, the woman crooning into a vintage microphone on stage, her hair in Victory curls. He saw Nick, and Rhodey already at a table pulling out Nick's poker set. He was still silent and could feel Tony growing tense beside him.

"Shit, did I do this wrong, was there supposed to be a girl in a cake? Because I can order one." Tony began to panic a little. He pulled out his phone. "Crap I did this wrong. Crap crap crap."

Phil turned and cupped Tony's face and kissed him hard. "Tony you did fucking perfect."

Tony actually dropped his phone. "Uh, thank you?" He bent down and scooped it up. "I mean, I'm flattered, but uh...okay..."

Phil laughed and for the hell of it kissed Tony again. "I made the one and only Tony Stark speechless. Already the best party ever." He threw an arm over Tony's shoulder and walked them over to the table. "Hey guys."

"That's already been sent to Pepper and Melinda." Nick said. "And I'm a little insulted I haven't gotten a kiss yet. Unless the 3 months since I saw you in person meant nothing." Nick wiped away a fake tear and Phil leaned over the table and gave him a giant smooch. He turned to Rhodey.

"I'm good man." Rhodey held up his hands. "How much pregaming did you do?"

"None." Phil leaned back after stealing Nick's whiskey. "I am marrying Melinda in a month, my friends are here, Tony found the most perfect place ever. I am in a very good mood."

"Well then, let's have some fun shall we?" Nick said. "Couple of the guys from the office should be along soon."

Phil nodded and cut the cards. "Do Pepper tell you what the plans for Melinda are?"

"Nope, apparently I don't have the security clearance." Tony frowned at his phone. "My wife just said our kiss was sexy, but it was a shame you didn't give me tongue, with how limber your tongue is." Tony looked at Phil. "Should I be concerned about my wife knowing how limber your tongue is?"

Phil just smiled. "I don't know, should you?" He winked and dealt the cards.

Tony looked at his hand. "You two are bluffing."

Phil just threw a chip in the middle of the table.

Tony swore. 

Yes, tonight was going to be fun.

***********************************

"Is this fun?" Skye shouted.

Kitty just handed her another jello shot. "Yes!"

The music was loud and the men were all wearing very little and Maria and Melinda were dancing together with the ease of people who had been friends forever. Skye still didn't know how to respond to two of the kid's teachers being there, but Kitty Pryde was pretty cool and Ms Munroe and Pepper seemed to be engaged in a chill off.

"This is ladies night at a strip club. It is like the cliche of cliches." Skye stared at the waiter in the thong. "Wow."

"Thank you sweetie." The guy winked and Skye made some sort of eep noise.

Maria and Melinda came back from the dance floor, or rather a corner of the room they sort of made into a dance floor. "The men are going on soon right?" Melinda asked. She had acquired a black boa at some point.

Maria was missing her top, just wearing the vest that had been over her dress shirt. "You ladies all keeping up?"

Pepper looked at her and did another shot. "I'm married to Tony Stark and have known him a long ass time. Just try to match me."

Kitty and Skye looked at them. "We're young we can do this." Kitty did another shot as well.

Ororo Munroe drank her bottled water. "I will enjoy being the sensible one."

"Ladies, ladies, ladies." A man's voice came over the sound system and the lights went down. "We have an excellent night for all of you. And welcome to our bachelor party, we have a bag of goodies for you and a private dance for the lucky bride. Now ladies, please welcome to the stage...Mr. Cage."

They all watched the man walk on stage and Ororo slammed back two shots. "Fuck sensibility, that's what cabs are for." She then whistled hard. Pepper grabbed her phone and made sure that Happy could pick them all up.

Maria looked at Melinda. "Your new work friends are great."

Melinda didn't take her eyes off the stage. "Poke the tattoo if I drool too much at any point."

"You got it."

********************************

Three hours later, Phil was taking a break outside with the cigar Nick had brought him. He had one cigar every couple of years and tonight seemed a good night for it. He leaned against the wall and stared up. He couldn't see any stars, but that was okay.

"Anything else you want tonight Cheese?" Nick asked, leaning against the wall beside him.

"No. This is really good." 

"Enjoying Tony still wondering what happened between you and Pepper?" Nick laughed. "Never seen him thrown for a loop."

"It is amusing." Phil agreed. "He did good tonight."

"He did. He was determined to do right by you. Bugged all of us for the last few weeks, making sure he didn't screw it up." Nick stubbed out his cigarette. "You're getting married soon."

"I am." Phil blew out the smoke. "She's so different than Audrey."

"I think that's good." Nick said after a minute.

"Me too. I somehow managed to get two incredible women to fall in love with me Nick. Ones way out of my league. No idea how."

"Always said you were a lucky bastard."

"Melinda is...she's everything Nick."

"Come on, you are nearing sappy. No more whiskey and let's get some sugar in you." Nick pushed him back into the bar and Phil saw a tower of donuts and the guys all sang for he's a jolly good fellow. He loved his friends.

*****************************

Melinda had a barely covered dick in her face and Maria was stuffing money in the underwear.

"I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!" she yelled.

*****************************

Phil had been home for an hour and was drifting off on the couch when he heard a bunch of voices.

He went and opened the front door, where Maria, Melinda, and Pepper were trying to figure out how keys worked. "Hello ladies." They all smelled rather strongly of booze and sweat.

"Hi Phil." Melinda grinned at him. "I love you enough, I only touched the pretty guy above his waist."

The other two women nodded seriously. 

"He let me touch his ass though." Maria said. "I got his number."

Pepper started giggling. "There were so many asses. I love Tony, and he has a great dick, but his ass is not the best."

"Okay then." Phil pulled Melinda into the house and sat her on the couch. "Stay." 

He then made sure that Maria and Pepper got back in the limo. "Wait, where is Skye?"

"She decided to crash with her new bestie Kitty." Maria explained. "The younguns are cute when they try to keep up." Pepper and Maria high fived.

"Good night ladies." Phil closed their drove and Happy drove off.

He went back into the house and sat on the couch beside Melinda. "I'm thinking you are way too smashed for finding tickle spots tonight."

"No sleep for an hour." Melinda said even as she yawned. "Tried to hydrate, but got sloppy. Want a couple glasses of water and some aspirin before going to sleep."

"Maybe a shower too?" Phil suggested delicately.

"No, not until tomorrow. Don't think I can get the tattoo wet yet." Melinda started going through the pink bag she had brought in with her. There was an explosion of glitter and he was handed fuzzy cuffs and a dildo. "Here it is!" She handed him a piece of paper. "Instructions. Paperwork. You are good with those. Make sure I do it right."

He looked at the page. "Melinda did you get a tattoo? A real one?" He had no idea how he felt about that.

"Yes!" Melinda said cheerfully. "It's a thing. A Maria and me thing. She had proof, and I don't go back and so I did it, because if I didn't it meant I didn't love you and I love you. Even with your weird toes, and tie fetish, and overcooked fish, I love you."

"What sort of tattoo proves that?" Phil asked curious.

"That was easy." Melinda lifted up her shirt to show the taped off area a couple inches below her breast. "Awww tattoo no, it's all oogey."

Phil laughed at her adopting of Clint's talking patterns. "I think they get oogey."

"Right." Melinda frowned. "Tomorrow morning you can help me wash it and see how neat it is."

"Okay." Phil stood. "Let's get you some water." He helped her up and took her to bed, where he stripped her down and snuggled her in and fetched some pills and a giant glass of water.

"You aren't drunk." Melinda frowned. "Shouldn't you be drunk too?"

"You don't get drunk on the whiskey Tony was buying. You sip slowly and savour."

"I did jello shots off of a man who was six foot two and had an eight pack."

"Gee thanks for sharing."

"I told him he was sexy, but not as handsome as you."

Phil kissed her forehead. "I love you Ms Melinda May."

"I love you too. Nerds are cooler than strippers." 

Phil was pretty sure that was comforting.

*****************************

In the morning Melinda felt horrible and Phil brought her a breakfast burrito and more aspirin. Eventually she managed to get in the shower and Phil helped her wash her tattoo.

"Oh."

"You like?" Melinda smiled at the dumbfounded look on his face. "Phil? Earth to Phil. Come in, please."

He lifted a finger and traced around the edges but was careful not to touch the tattoo itself. "Jesus fucking Christ Melinda, this could give a man a heart attack. You have to warn him." He stood up and kissed her hard. "Oh hell your mouth is gross." He said and then he kissed her again.

Melinda ducked her head onto his shoulder and let him wash her hair. 

"It's amazing." He said said. "You should let it air out a bit though, don't really want to touch a towel to it." Melinda nodded and put on sweat pants and a sports bra and went downstairs where the kids were watching cartoons with Jemma and Leo.

"Feel better Mommy?" Clint asked. He got up and came over to give her a hug. "Daddy said you had a headache and we needed to be quiet. We were super duper quiet and wow what's that?"

"That is a tattoo." Melinda explained. "I got it last night so please don't touch yet it really hurts."

"Tashie come see, Mommy has Captain America's shield on her side." Clint looked at it. "And in the star is Mommy and Daddy's initials."

Tashie hurried over and both kids ooohed over it.

Phil joined the chorus of appreciation.

And once it was healed, he showed it a great deal more of personal appreciation.


	15. Phase 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really hope that you've enjoyed this story. the second part in the series will start in a couple weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://coulson-is-my-superhero.tumblr.com/post/152563066318/so-the-last-chapter-of-the-more-we-get-together this is a link to the wedding clothes of our wonderful little family.

"Melinda Mailie May, you get your butt awake." Grace said and she poked her daughter.

"No, sleepy." Melinda put a pillow over her head.

"And how late were up talking to Phil last night?" The answer was muffled by the pillow. "What was that?"

"1am." Melinda admitted as she lifted the pillow.

"What is the point of spending last night apart if you were going to do that?" Grace huffed. "I am calling room service, considering getting into the shower?"

Melinda mumbled and Grace gave her another poke. "I'm up, I'm up." Melinda said. She looked at Maria in the door. "Some best friend."

"I would have thrown a bucket of water on you, but frankly I don't think I can cover a light bulb in this joint." Maria came into the room and sat on the bed and Melinda snuggled into her. "This is a fancy ass room."

"It's the honeymoon suite."

"God how much spunk has been on this bed?" Maria shuddered but got comfy. Pillow top mattress for the win. "So action packed schedule, what with it being your wedding day."  

"It's early."

"It's 11." Maria countered.

"Oh. crap." Melinda debated getting up and shrugged. "5 more minutes."

"You okay?" Maria ran a hand over her hair.

"I can't tell you. You'll make fun."

"Tell me."

"The last hour we were talking was us doing you hang up first." Melinda said. "I'm so ashamed."

Maria blinked and pushed Melinda out of the bed. 

Melinda stood up. "I deserved that."

"Yeah you did and for that, I'm telling your hair and make up person to go full maximum on you."

"I don't have a make up person." Melinda said, certain of that.

"Pepper has arrived." Maria countered.

"Save me."

"No." 

Melinda stumbled to the shower.

***************************************************

Phil was at Mcdonald's with the kids. He generally left happy meals for aunts and uncles to spoil the kids with, but he thought it was important today for the three of them. They were all in old sweats, but clean and he prayed they stayed that way.

He bought the kids each a happy meal and just some fries for himself, he didn't know how much he could stomach right now. The kids pulled out their toys and automatically switched, Clint taking the Powerpuff Girl and Tashie the Skylander. "Big day today."

"Yup. Big day." Clint agreed. "We got fries with the happy meal."

"Sort of bigger than that."

"Are we getting milkshakes?" Tashie asked.

"Well no." Phil felt his fingers clench in his lap. "It's wedding day, remember."

They nodded and made their toys fight each other.

Phil watched them. "Do you have any questions?"

"No." They said in unison.

"Because I know that this is a big step, but you know it doesn't change how much I loved your mother, and how the three of us are together. You two always come first for me."

"Sure." Clint said. "But can we get milkshakes?"

Tashie tilted her head. "Daddy are you scared?"

"What? No, I just wanted to check in with you two." Phil blustered.

Clint and Tashie both crawled under the table and up to the other side of the booth. The hugged him tight and he put his arms around them. "Okay, maybe just a little scared." he said. "I know that it only changes the family a little bit, but...wedding words are powerful words."

"Are they magic? Because this is the part where they say happily ever after?" Clint asked.

"Yeah. Yeah they are magic."

Tashie looked at her dad. "It will be okay. Uncle Nick would shoot any wicked witches."

Phil laughed. "You two are my favourite thing on the planet." Clint opened his mouth. "No milkshake, but you can have big slices of wedding cake." Clint nodded content.

"Mom 1 would have liked Mama." Tashie said.

"She would have. Your mom would be very happy to know that Melinda is looking out for you." Phil kissed them both. "Finish your fries, we have to go home and get in our fancy clothes."

"My shoes pinch and are stupid." Tashie frowned.

"So what you want to wear your Melinda combat boots?" Phil joked. "Oh great." because he knew from one look at Tashie's face this was a thing now happening. "We'll give them a good polish."

********************************

Pepper had put out a great deal of make up, just to watch Melinda freak out. All the women agreed that watching a woman in her forties who was a nationally ranked fighter hide behind her father, was rather hilarious. "I promise Melinda, you'll look like you." Pepper smiled and Melinda moved out from behind her father who went back to reading the paper and nibbling on the food that Melinda was too nervous to finish. 

Maria forcibly put Melinda into a chair. Her make up had been done while Melinda had been showering and she looked good. Her maid of honour suit was hanging over a door, along with several other bags with dresses. Liu was in an undershirt and the trousers of his uniform and trying to be invisible but secretly glad Melinda had asked him to be there.

Pepper grabbed a much smaller bag of make up, along with a blow dryer and hair spray and sat in front of Melinda. "Nervous?"

"Yes." Melinda said simply. "Were you scared when you married Tony?"

"Terrified." Pepper said. She plugged in the blow dryer and they were quiet while she did Melinda's hair. They kept it easy, and left her hair as it usually was, just a little more set than usual. "I was scared that he would slide into his old ways, that maybe we were mistaking our friendship as more. I was scared that he needed more than me. I'm occasionally considered cold." Melinda immediately protested. "This is something we have in common Melinda, people seeing the calm exterior, not realizing everything underneath. I was sure he'd want crazy pomp and circumstance. He joked about doves. But in the end it was just us and Rhodey and my mom at the courthouse. He said that he wanted that moment to just be ours. That the world had enough of him, this he was keeping for us. I knew we were going to be okay." Pepper started to work on Melinda's make up, and used a light hand. "There, you just look a little fancier now."

Melinda looked in the mirror and was relieved. "Thank you, this does look incredible and better than I would have done." She gave Pepper a quick hug. "I am grateful for so much in my life these days and friendship with you, is high on that list."

Pepper smiled. "Let's get your dress." 

The women all gathered up the garment bags and disappeared into the bedroom and Liu took this is as his queue to finish putting his uniform on. About thirty minutes later the door opened. He looked over and that woman, Pepper came out first, looking very classy and polished. "You look very nice ma'am." She smiled and he saw Maria in her suit. "Hill, looking sharp." she tipped an invisible hat to him. Grace was next and he had seen what she had picked as mother of the bride, but she looked stunning. He walked over and kissed her hand. "Darling."

"Oh hush you." her eyes were swimming. "Look at your daughter."

Melinda stood in the door in a one shoulder red dress. He was horrible with fashion, but it looked floaty, and fancy, but not too fussy. "You are wearing red."

"Of course I am, it's traditional Dad." Melinda said, a bit nervous. "Do I look okay?"

He nodded unable to speak. He swallowed a couple of times. "You're prettier than a stealth bomber." He was so thankful she laughed and understood what he meant. He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a small box. "I have this for you." He opened it. "Your grandmother's wedding bracelet. For your something old, that isn't just your mother and me." Grace hit him. Melinda looked at the bracelet, the gold forming delicate flowers. She held out her wrist and he snapped it on for her. "You take my breath away Melly." He gave her wrist a gentle kiss.

"Oh come on, leave the good moments for when I'm set up. I had to get that on my damn phone. Be cute once I'm ready." Melinda turned to the very perky voice. "Hi." the girl said, and she seemed to be weighed down by a dozen bags. "I'm Darcy your photographer."

"We didn't hire a photographer."

"I did." Grace looked at her daughter, and Melinda realized that was where she got her stubborn face from. "My daughter is getting married and we are having a million nice photos and I don't care what you say. Clint will ham and I want 80 photos of that on my mantle Melinda Mailie May, that old bag Marcy goes on about her grandkids and this is war. So straighten up soldier." 

Everyone in the room saluted Grace, even Liu. Darcy groaned as she still had to get it on her phone. But at least this should be a fun job

**************************************

"Awww, tie, no." 

Phil heard this echo down the hall and thought about going for a moment but was sure that Skye had it under control. He was stuck. His suit was right there, but he could figure out his socks. He had his sock drawer open and was just staring. He could hear Tony come into the room. 

"Right, glad I stopped by." Tony sat on the bed next to him. "Nick is securing the scene."

"The scene is the small event room at the hotel." Phil grimaced. "Tell me not all the wait staff hasn't been replaced with SHIELD agents."

"Most of the wait staff hasn't been replaced with SHIELD agents. The bartender has, and Nick has two people watching the food prep. And the justice that is marrying you two, is being watched." Tony grinned. "So pretty chill actually."

"There are 30 people at this wedding, and that includes the wedding party. It isn't an Op." 

"A bird colonel, a regular colonel, the two directors of one of the most important security firms in the world, and of course me, security needs to be examined." Tony pat him on the shoulder. "We're supposed to leave in 20, the kids are just about ready. Why aren't you?"

"I can't pick the right socks." Phil sighed. "That sounds so stupid."

"It was cufflinks for me." Tony replied easily. "And why not the lucky Cap socks?"

"With the suit you picked out for me?" Phil gestured to his closet. "A shiny three piece black suit and Captain America socks?"

Tony gave him a one armed hug. "Why the fuck not?"

Phil leaned into the hug a little. "You know, you really are a good guy."

"Shh, you'll ruin the image."

Phil reached for his socks and Tony helped him get ready, adjusting his tie, and putting his jacket on. He then took a million selfies of the two of them and posted them everywhere. They went to the living room where the kids were in their wedding clothes and Skye looked elegant in a cream beaded dress. "Isn't only the bride supposed to wear white?" Tony asked. "I mean you look great Skye, but isn't it tacky?"

Skye smiled and fixed Clint's tie. Again. "She's Chinese Tony, she's wearing red."

Tony quickly googled. "Oh. Cool."

"You look beautiful Skye." Phil said.

"You look pretty sharp too AC." 

"Me! Me! Look at me!" Clint shouted. "I look like you two, only you know, cool because it is purple." Clint did a little runway walk and Tony took another million photos. 

Tashie swung her black fluffy skirt a little. "I have red too. To match Mama." She smoothed the ribbon at her waist. 

"You both are super duper awesome cool looking." Phil promised. "How about a couple photos with Dad?" They nodded and Tony took a few classy ones and then demanded they do Charlie's Angels poses. "Good. Skye a couple too please." Skye blushed a little but Tony snapped a few great ones.

"Come on people. We're running behind."

"NOOOOOOO! Mommy can't think we abandoned her." Clint ran outside forgetting his winter coat and Happy helped him into the limo.

Tashie glared at them. "You will drive quickly and we will not be late for Mama."

"Yes ma'am." Phil and Tony agreed and the three adults hustled after the kids.

************************************

"You sure you don't want me to walk you down the aisle, Melly?" Liu stood with his daughter and Maria in the small anteroom next to the ballroom.

"No, dad, thank you. I want to walk to him on my own." Melinda said.

"Mommy!" Clint tumbled in. "We are here! Daddy and Tony were bonding and made us late." 

Tashie followed a little more slowly. "It was unacceptable."

"I am dead. Look at them. Look at my grandbabies." Grace turned to Darcy. "Why aren't you looking at them and taking all the photos?"

"On it." Darcy loved Grace.

"You aren't late little spider." Melinda promised. "And my hawk, look at your purple suit." Melinda crouched down and straightened his eternally crooked tie. She ignored her mother's hissing get the photo. "You two look amazing."

"You look pretty Mama." Tashie said.

"Auntie Pep Pep did good with your makeup. You don't look like a clown." Clint poked Melinda's cheek. "Does our red and purple clash?" He pouted a little. "Should I have gotten a red suit?"

"No, darling. I think you look perfect. But let's ask the professional." Melinda stood and put a hand on each of her kid's shoulders. "Darcy we look quite good together, correct?"

"You betcha. It's all cheerful and happy." Darcy snapped some photos. "Let's get the whole bridal party in this one? Suit lady, bitching parents, squeeze in." Darcy took a bunch. "Okay, I'll go set up in the ballroom. See you in a few."

Maria handed the flower basket to Tashie and the ring pillow to Clint and then laughed when they automatically switched.

They heard the pre music queue and left their little room to stand in the hallway. Melinda was taking slow and steady breaths and Maria clutched her hand.

"Tattoo." was all Maria said but it was enough to ease Melinda's mind.

The music changed and Liu held out his arm for his wife and they walked into the room, which was elegantly and simply decorated with fresh flowers and pale purple linens. 

Maria nudged Clint and Tashie who walked down the aisle next. The small crowd could be heard going awwwww as Clint happily threw flowers and Tashie's combat boots clunked a little. Only they didn't go to their seats like they were supposed to, they kept marching right up to their dad and planted themselves next to him.

Nick tried to get them to their seats, and Melinda could hear them both say "No."

The crowd laughed.

"We found Mommy, so we get to marry her too, she's ours." Clint said loudly.

"We aren't moving. And Mama's been teaching me Wushu, so just try me." Tashie added.

Melinda could hear her mom say "I'm dead, they keep killing me." She laughed, it was perfect.

Maria winked at her and strode down the aisle. Melinda took a breath and walked in the door. She could see Phil standing there, a hand on each of his kids, and oh god there was her family, her life, her future, just a short walk away. She wasn't going to stumble.

She walked down the aisle to them. "Hi."

"I'm wearing Captain America socks." Phil said. 

"Jesus Phil." Nick muttered.

Melinda smiled. "That sounds perfect."

"You are perfect." Phil managed.

"Better." Nick poked him. "Now get married."

Phil nodded. And when it came time to say his vows, his "I do" rang out clear and strong. It was echoed by the kids "Yeah us too, we do too."

"I do too. All of you." Melinda said when it was her turn.

Their kiss was cut a little short at the end, because Clint and Tashie were demanding their turns. Neither parent minded a bit.

Grace opened her mouth. 

"Don't worry Grandma, I've got it all." Darcy promised.

**************************************

The reception was perfect, there was lots of alcohol and good music, and better cake. Phil's feet were going numb with how much he had danced with Melinda and he was quite happy that she had winged her bouquet right at Nick's head during the toss. The kids were asleep on top of their grandparents and all his friends were swaying to the music. It was everything they wanted it to be.

"Happy?" He asked Melinda.

"Very." She agreed.

"You know, it is perfectly okay for you two to go get happier." Tony said to them. He wiggled his brows. "We'll clear the rabble out. Go get your honeymoon on."

Melinda kissed Tony's cheek and he blushed a little. "You are good people."

"Why do people keep saying that. I need to go do something stupid to make up for all these positive feelings."

"You can buy a new lambo in the morning." Pepper told him.

"3."

"1 and a Tesla."

"Ooooh neat." Tony kissed his wife.

Melinda and Phil took the chance and left the ballroom. They went up to the honeymoon suite. They were spending the night and then flying to an island resort tomorrow. They stood in the living room of the suite and for a moment felt awkward.

"Hello husband." Melinda said formally.

"Hello wife." he answered.

They both laughed and he pulled her in close.

He kissed her gently. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything." he kissed her again. "For making my world better."

"Thank you then, for bringing me more joy than I thought possible." Melinda leaned into him. "Now, let's get naked." She yanked him into the bedroom.

**********************************

Melinda shouted as a lump landed on her. Phil reached for the taser under his pillow but when a lump hit him, he knew the shape of it.

"Hi Mommy, hi Daddy!" Clint bounced on the bed a little. "Why aren't you in pajamas?"

"The blankets are very warm in the hotel." Phil offered. He clutched the blankets tightly. "How did you two get in here? You can't manually pick electronic locks."

"Skye has been working on a bypass for a school project. We decided to beta it." Tashie explained. "It works." she added happily.

"Lovely." Phil sighed.

Melinda laughed and hugged Clint. "Why are you two here, you are supposed to be with your grandparents."

"Yeah, but we broke out. We explained our plans to Colonel Grandpa and Grammy Grace and they agreed." Clint lay down. "We're all packed and ready."

Tashie lay down too. "Skye is getting the bags and should be here soon."

"What bags? What did your grandparents agree to?" Phil didn't like how high his voice was getting.

"Well, since we found Mommy, and brought her into the family, and made all of this happen, we get to go on the honeymoon too." Clint said.

Tashie pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket. "Our list of everything we did, each phase, and it proves we deserve the vacation as much, if not more than you."

"You still have one week of school before Christmas break." Phil tried.

"Mommy got to ditch."

"Uncle Tony forged your signature on our absence sheet." Tashie added.

Phil groaned. "Kids, this is just a trip for mommies and daddies."

"Why?" Clint asked. "It is about celebrating that you are a family now, and that is all of us, so all of should go. We won't interfere with your morning tickle times." he said. "Well other than this morning. But you can tickle Mommy, we'll wait." Clint looked at his dad, like he thought Phil was supposed to tickle her right there and then.

"I think we are good on tickles right now Clint." Melinda explained.

"Hey guys, you were supposed to wait to break in!" Skye said from the doorway. She just smiled at the adult glares she got. "Hey guys, you look...happy." she winked. "Get lots of tickles in during the night?"

"You're fired." Phil said.

"No she's not." Melinda and the kids automatically answered.

"Come on, you two. Flight leaves in a few hours." Skye clapped her hands. "Chop chop. Tony's paid for first class for all of us. Plus VIP week long passes, it's going to be great."

"I want the Haunted Mansion." Clint shouted as he tumbled off the bed.

"I want a costume, a villain one." Tashie said. "Can I spend the week as Maleficent?" 

"Sure kiddo." Skye agreed.

"We're going to the Bahamas." Phil said.

And Melinda clued in. "I had promised Clint next family vacation would be Disney World." Melinda started to laugh. "Oh god, Tony and the kids switched it so we are honeymooning at Disney."

Phil sank into the pillows and covered his head with the blanket. "How is this my life?" he groaned.

"I'll buy you Micky ears, even get your name written on them." Melinda offered. She went under the blankets and laced her fingers with his. She smiled at him, the covers making it all shadowy. "And I bet we can make sure we at least have a separate room. Plenty of time for tickle fights." She kissed his nose.

Phil smiled at her and squeezed her hand. "I suppose that this is a pretty good life."

"It's going to be." Melinda promised.

 


End file.
